#but if by some wild coincidence my theory is true. then that might make her increasing insecurity in recent archon quests more impactful

[rubys-domain]

i did some beyond the map border shenanigans, and i discovered something that's either really wholesome or really creepy depending on how you want to look at it

i might be very far from the first one to discover this, but if you open the camera while paimon's trying to take you back within bounds (asuming you're not in a stance that keeps you from opening it like swimming or something), paimon stays onscreen and keeps moving like she does in the paimon menu. but if you move the camera so that it's looking at her from the side, she'll turn to face the camera and do her little wave.

now i don't think they'll do it, but... if genshin pulls some "you, the player" thing endgame... honestly i would be interested in seeing how they pull it off

[itrytowrite-things]

Murder podcasts

Spencer Reid x reader 

Summary: Y/N has a tendency to listen to murder podcasts while doing chores, one day Spencer comes in unannounced scaring Y/N into action. (This summary sucks but it’s fluffy) 

A/N: shout out to @with-paint, she helped me form some of this fic so check them out. 

The eerie background music and narrator filled the kitchen as I scrubbed diligently at a plate. I blinked down at it, trying in vain to remember what the hell I used it for that would cause such a stubborn stain of food. Sighing, I squeezed the soap bottle some more and ran hot water over it. Maybe soaking it would help? 

Grabbing a few of the cups I had washed, I spun around from the sink to a towel I had laid out earlier. I scrunched my nose as cold soap suds ran down my arm, hit my elbow and fell to the floor in a sticky mess I didn’t want to deal with right now. 

I was so engrossed in the podcast playing over the Alexa that I barely even processed the grueling chore that was longer than normal. I was lost in the words, that an hour longer scrubbing at dishes seemed almost fun. The dishwasher had completely died a couple of weeks ago. 

Normally Spencer would speed read the manual to figure out what was wrong with the stupid machine. But unfortunately, his case in Michigan was taking longer than he anticipated. So, he hadn’t been home to look into it, leaving me to hand wash the dishes. I didn’t mind, it was a mindless task and allowed me to catch up on my favorite podcast. 

“They found her body a week later, twenty minutes from their house,” I shook my head at that, case freaking solved. Her husband obviously killed her. I mean there’s no way the police didn’t solve this case, come on.

I moved from the towel back to the sink, sticking my hands back into the soapy water. I always believed that I should be a detective. I could solve these cases easily, Spencer claims that suspicion can only take me so far and the reason that they don’t catch the guy is not because they don’t suspect it, but because they don’t have hard evidence. I normally just scoff and give him a kiss knowing that I would get the bad guy in the end, “hard evidence” my ass. 

“Two months later the police came in and found Jeff’s disembodied head laying on their kitchen counter.” My jaw dropped and I turned around furiously, bringing a wet butter knife with me, on instinct I pointed the knife at the device. 

“Oh shit.” I said to the speaker, as if it were relaying the case itself. Well turns out I was wrong. I cleared my throat and lowered the stupid knife. I placed it down and tried my best to look less scandalized. We all make mistakes. So I might have been a little off in my husband theory, but I mean I had only heard half the case at that point so it doesn’t speak anything of my amazing detective skills. I nodded at that and tossed the knife into a little stack of silverware. The metallic sound echoing around the kitchen. I smirked at my good throw and turned back to the sink. 

I quickly got into the true grove of washing the dishes, listening to the more gruesome details of the case. Turns out the killer did quite a number on old Jeff. I was halfway done with the remaining dishes when I felt a tap on my shoulder sending my heart into a frenzy. 

I whirled around quickly bringing the closest item with me as a weapon. The plastic spatula slapped the asalint straight in the face creating an awfully loud twack sound that bounced off the kitchen walls. I blinked in horror at realizing who exactly was standing in front of me. 

Spencer's cheek turned red immediately. 

“Oh my god! Spence! I am so sorry!” I dropped the spatula and brought my other hand to his face trying to soothe his skin. My hand was covered in water and soap suds, and it dripped down his face onto the already wet floor.

“I am so so sorry. You scared me.” I rubbed my thumb over the spot, feeling his heated skin. Jesus, I felt awful. I didn’t hold anything back when I hit him. I figured I was fending for my life, not greeting my boyfriend. 

“It’s okay.” His much larger hand cupped mine removing it from his face. The redness had died down a little, making his skin a rosy pink instead of the previous bright red. He looked adorable which only made me feel worse. Who looks that cute after getting slapped in the face with a spatula? 

Spencer startled me yet again when a chuckle came bubbling out of him. His laugh was like someone bottled the sound of happiness. It made my own laughter arise every time without a doubt even if I didn’t understand what was funny.

“I guess I don’t have to worry about you protecting yourself.” A loud squeak sound emitted from my body unexpectedly followed by more laughter. I slapped him very lightly across the chest, kissing his unharmed cheek. 

“You're lucky I wasn’t cutting vegetables.” I said,  rustling my way into his arms pulling his body against my tightly, loving the way his laughter shook my entire body. I felt the short press of his lips against the crown of my head before tucking my head into the nook of his neck. I inhaled deeply, taking the scent of him with me. The apartment had started to lose its scent with him being gone for so long. I was beyond eager for the apartment to smell like us again.

“I think those podcasts are giving you wild ideas.” 

“They would never find your body Dr.Reid.” I teased, poking gently at his side making him squirm in my grip. Another round of laughter filled the small space, it was only when it died down that I realized my podcast was still running in the background. 

“Alexa, stop,” I shouted into the air stopping the podcast. “The neighbor did it.” I said with coincidence knowing that my answer was correct this time. Spencer let out a belt of laughter, nodding his head, a big grin on his face. 

I pulled back from Spencer taking in his features for the first time. He looked tired, his eye bags had doubled creating a skunk in effect. I could see the trouble in his eyes, the case was hard. It killed me to see him after a hard case, he looked more and more defeated after each one. However, it was what he loved doing and my job wasn’t to erase the trauma of his job, but to ease him back into daily life. I thumbed his eye bags lazily, a pout taking over my face. 

“You wanna take a shower and I’ll start us some dinner.” I asked gently. Not wanting to completely destroy the quiet we created. He nodded slightly looking younger than ever. I quickly pulled him back into me taking all of his weight. “I love you bub.” His hair felt silky against my fingertips as I disentangled the curls. 

“Love you too.” He mumbled, his heated breath warming my skin. I waited a few comfortable minutes rocking our conjoined bodies in the cozy silence of our kitchen, I took a deep breath and said what was on my mind. 

“You wanna talk about it?”

I don’t ever ask Spencer for the details of his cases. He either goes into a tangent without prompting or doesn’t feel like talking about it. I used to think that talking to Spencer about his job would be like listening to my murder podcasts. It honestly was one of the things I was excited for, but I soon found out it’s nothing like that.

When Spencer spoke of cases it was personal. He felt every death that was caused and saw every killing through the eyes of monsters. He held so much emotion in his voice when he spoke of the victims, that I often can’t help but cry. How a person can hold that much pain and still continue to do it everyday, is beside me. 

He shook his head, squeezing my torso before finally pulling back and placing a soft kiss to my lips. 

I continued the dishes, washing the last few. I left the podcast off, listening instead to the shower from down the hall. I scrubbed off the last of the grime before starting the oven. A simple dinner was always best in these situations. I pulled out a pre-made chicken pot pie from the freezer and placed it in the oven. 

As I moved to dry and put away the dishes while waiting for pie to finish. Spencer emerged from the bathroom freshly bathed. He wore a thin gray shirt paired with some soft looking sweatpants. My upper lip jutted out automatically. God I love him. 

“Feel better?” I kept my voice low, not wanting to startle any peace that the shower might have brought him. He nodded slowly. 

“What did you cook?”

“A chicken pot pie, I hope that’s okay.” 

“It’s perfect.” He smiled and returned to my arms, kissing my neck once before tucking his head into my neck. The edge of his wet hair scraped against my skin in an uncomfortable way, yet I only moved enough to rub circles into his back. 

A loud beep emitted from the oven caused me to jump in Spencer's arms. He let out a small chuckle. 

“Pick us something to watch and I’ll plate us some food.” I hummed turning my back to him. I heard him walking towards the living room as I bent to retrieve the hot food. 

Spencer sat criss cross on the couch, Les Enfants du Paradis was displayed on the TV. I handed him the steaming bowl and sat down, sitting close enough for our knees to knock together. I have no idea what Les Enfants du Paradis was, but I would watch literally anything he wanted as long as he was here. 

“It’s in French, but I figured I could whisper the translations to you while we watch. Or I could pick something else?” 

“No! This is perfect Spence. I love it when you translate, you tell the story better.” He let out a little blush highlighting his previous slap mark. I bit my lip and winced slightly, “How’s your face?” 

He touched the spot faintly, he didn’t wince when his fingers made contact which was a good sign. However, I have an inkling that a small bruise would form in the center of the slap which was going to be a fun story to tell his colleagues Monday. 

“I’ve had worse, but you wield a lot of power with a cheap piece of plastic.”

“I am professionally trained in the art of spatula wielding Spence, don’t try that at home.” I stared at him, my face blank before a blast of laughter came out of both of us. One can only be so serious when you are talking about slapping people in the face with kitchen utensils. 

Spencer started up the movie, and we remained there for the rest of the evening. Laughter and dramatic sighs followed by even more dramatic translations from Spencer. At some point he went so off script that even I could tell his story was bullshit. I didn’t call him out though just allowed him to spit nonsense, I would let him create fake French stories until he was blue in the face if that meant we got to stay in this happy bubble forever. 

[alloravondoom]

The Case for Guizhong’s Reincarnation

There’s been a theory floating around, especially on Twitter, that seems to have touched the subreddit but not actually been explained as far as I can tell so I’m going to make a mini dissertation fully explaining it since there seems to be enough evidence at this point that it totally might be real. Quick disclaimer: there’s 1.1 AND 1.2 spoilers in this post. The 1.2 spoilers are actually just Zhongli’s voice lines so nothing huge.

Ninggunag is Guizhong’s reincarnation. If you’re not very familiar with Guizhong and only kinda remember her from this quest someone was wonderful enough to compile info on her here. So, now that we’re all caught up I’m just going to dive straight into the insane amount of “coincidences” that tie Ninggunag to Guizhong.

1. Glaze Lilies: Glaze Lilies were in bloom when Zhongli first met Guizhong and during their final parting. On top of that Zhongli says true wild glaze lilies were found in Dihua Marsh and Guili Plains. The glaze lilies we see in Qingce Village and Liyue are “domesticated”. So there’s really no way around not associating Guizhong with glaze lilies. Ningguang is also associated with glaze lilies because they are her ascension materials as well as the fact that she goes on about how lovely and expensive they are in a voice line as well, in fact she’s the one who tells us in that same voice line that Yujing Terrace (in Liyue) are where they’re grown.

2. Memory of Dust: Another thing glaze lilies are used as an ascension material for is the Memory of Dust catalyst weapon. This weapon was a gift from Guizhong to Zhongli and is a puzzle he’s been unable to solve confirming the association to Guizhong again. Also Dust= Guizhong, goddess of dust. It’s also one of the very few catalyst weapons in the game that mesh perfectly with Ningguang’s talent kit. In fact its passive talent is completely worthless on anyone but Ningguang as she’s the only catalyst user who creates shields. The lines. I’ve connected them.

3. Ideologies: Guizhong has been characteristically kind and deeply understanding of humans and human motives. Her priorities where nurturing her people and bridging the gap in the strength of adepti and humans through wisdom and knowledge. She also gave commandments to her people. At first glance Ningguang seems to be none of these things but her character stories show that she actually goes down and plays with children and values their opinions on the happenings of Liyue so much that she uses them as her “intelligence network.” She also simply enjoys their company, showing that she is not the cold hearted businesswoman people make her out to be. Additionally Ningguang’s character story tells us that she’s always been kind and friendly to her common people and only treats business owners with her ruthless mentalities. Her love of rules is also not be noted. I’ll admit this one is shaky on it’s own but it’s there.

4. Engineering: Stone Tablet Compilations (I) confirms that Guizhong built Guizhong ballista to defend the people of Liyue and Cloud Retainer says herself that she helped.  Cloud Retainer also complains about a certain human who ALSO is a renowned engineer and has a floating abode. She whines and jealously builds her adepti’s abode just to show off how much better adepti ingenuity is, but in reality we’ve seen both and hands down Jade Chamber wins Ningguang 1 Cloud Retainer 0. What I’m getting at is both Guizhong and Ningguang have “adepti level” mechanical engineering prowess to the point that even Cloud Retainer even has to acknowledge them. It should also be noted that both the Guizhong Ballista originally made to protect Liyue and ultimately the Jade Palace were what killed Osial.

5. Mora Meat: Okay, I’m gonna look crazy. But you obtain the Mora Meat recipe during the Cloud retainer quest where you need to serve Matsutake Meat Rolls, Mora Meat, and Jewelry Soup to a table where Cloud Retainer, Morax, and Guizhong would sit and eat. We know the Jewelry Soup is for Cloud Retainer so the Mora Meat is either Guizhong or Morax’s plate BUT Ningguang’s specialty dish is Caelum Terra Mora Meat (meaning Heavenly/Heavenly Ground Mora Meat). Again. The lines. I’ve connected them.

6. Hair: This might be the most damning evidence and quite frankly when I noticed it in game it made me go from “yeah thats a cute theory” to losing my mind for a week and writing this long ass post. We all know one of the many big tip offs of Zhongli being Morax was his ombre hair. No other characters but the archons thus far have this ombre hair EXCEPT ONE. Yes, Ningguang has ombre hair, her hair is white then turns to this gray...ashy...some would say dusty....shade. I’ve checked this over three times. In game the only characters who have ombre hair are archons. In all promotional art this is the same. Even among the upcoming characters only Xiao and Xinyan have colored hair but with Xinyan it’s notably NOT ombre and instead these streaks in her hair that quite frankly looks like she tied red ribbon into her braid for color and dyed the tips orange for a fire aesthetic. It looks totally different from how adepti and archons have their hair BUT what do I know. Xiao...is an adepti. Of course he has ombre. 

6. Lore Implications: All of those things are nice and cool and all but the real reason I’m so obsessed with this theory is how well it ties into the Liyue plot. If Ningguang really is Guizhong’s reincarnation there is no shot in hell Zhongli has not noticed. In Zhongli’s leaked voice lines he refers to Ningguang in an incredibly fond and somber tone calling her a “rare gem”. He even very cryptically says “Time is cruel to humans.” Look. Come on. 

More importantly, you have to consider that the people of Liyue were originally Guizhong’s people and Morax came to rule them with her before sending them south after she died to protect them. For Zhongli to retire NOW in the era when Ningguang reigns and she bears this heavy resemblance to his deceased friend would be a plot masterpiece. FINALLY Zhongli can return the people of Liyue to their original ruler and rest, FINALLY Zhongli can take the time to learn what Guizhong was trying to teach him about humanity by taking a break and embracing humanity, and more importantly FINALLY was Guizhong’s will realized and the gap between humans and adepti bridged. The jade palace, a construction of human intelligence and strength, dealt the killing blow to Osial NOT the Ballista. I cannot stress how impactful and amazing this subtle theming is. If this is never outright confirmed in canon I’d be fine with it as just a theory but I will eat my shoes if its outright debunked.  

TLDR Ningguang and Guizhong share a lot of motifs and character traits to a point where it's too much not to mention or theorycraft also it just makes sense plotwise.

[lunarrin]

Twisted Wonderland Theory! May have future spoilers so please skip this post if you don’t want to risk getting spoiled.

I accidentally posted this before it was finished before, that’s why this might seem like a repeated post, whoops sorry. Edit: Also I tumblr keeps on messing up the format and making me edit it again ;-;

Anyways, It seems like a bunch of people are interested in learning more about this theory circulating among JPN twisted wonderland fans so here I am to display the possible evidence/hints. I had to use google translate to look at some of their claims and although it’s easy to just confirm on your own the claims I have to admit I couldn’t list some of their claims simply because I couldn’t understand what they were saying. Please keep in mind this is only a speculation and has no in-game proof or foreshadowing that I’ve seen at the very least proving it, so take it with a grain of salt. Now, onto the theory!

The Ace Betrayal Theory

This theory concerns our beloved Ace Trappola and concerning “coincidences” that point to Ace possible betraying us in the future. If you would like to look at the twitter posts yourself, search up エース 裏切り説し on twitter.

So first of all, the first thing that may point at things being not what they seem, or at least that something is wrong is the Heartslabyul dorm main characters. There are 5 main characters from the Heartslabyul dorm and in terms of cards it seems a bit odd that there is no sign of a joker within the dorm, of course you could chalk it up to Riddle being the Queen of Hearts in Alice in Wonderland so he doesn’t count as a “Heart”. With the “heart” suit being represented by Ace and Riddle, is it possible one of them could also represent the joker? In this case, when I say “joker” I don’t mean they’re gonna be like “surprise I’m actually a joker not a heart suit!” I more so mean that one of them will like a wild card. Given that Riddle already had his episode, and Ace’s status proven by the twisted wonderland opening to be a main character, could we say that Ace could be the “joker” of the dorm in a way? The wild card? Of course this point is based on perspective, if you exclude Riddle from being counted as a “Heart” suit then the dorm is fine, but if you count him as someone representing the “Heart” suit then the repetition seems odd.

There is one main concerning part of this theory that surely would be difficult to pass of as mere coincidence, and it’s Ace’s last name, “Trappola”.

In Italian is means  “trap/pitfall(a possible danger)".  

And Ace is the only dorm member to not have his suit somewhere in his last name, instead he has Trappola, a Venetian trick-taking card game where the Ace is the most powerful card. (Funny enough, it seems like the Deuce is the second most powerful in terms of points alone) And it’s no news to anyone who’s read Ace’s profile that he enjoys card games doesn’t he? What’s a trick-taking card game? It’s a tile based game where each round is called a “trick” and in Trappola, your goal is to take/win the trick. Funny thing is, in Trappola specifically, it seems like the player is awarded bonus points for taking a trick(s) with a Deuce.

There is also another trick-taking, or more so, trick-avoiding game called “Hearts” where you try to have the least amount of points by the end of the game. You get points by wining hearts in tricks in which the amount of points lost depends on the the specific card, with the ace of hearts giving the most points (something you do not want). A fan interpreted this in terms of twisted wonderland to be another pointer for Ace betraying the group just as the Ace of hearts in the game in a way betrays you because it gives you the most points, I personally feel like this is a stretch? But I listed it anyways in case you wanted to know.

Edit: It has been brought to my attention that the Red Queen and Jack of Hearts are from Alice through the Looking Glass and not Alice in Wonderland so the next point does not hold as much ground anymore, but I’ll leave it here anyways

Then there is Ace's similarity or possible link to a character within Alice in Wonderland, being the Jack/Knave of Hearts, who betrays the Red Queen (whom he was previous lovers with, and in general close to the Red Queen). Both Ace and Jack(or the Knave of hearts) have a heart on or around their left eye (our right). Both Jack and Ace steal a tart from the Red Queen (Queen of Hearts (Riddle) in Ace's case). Next, Both betray the Red Queen/Queen of Hearts respectively at one point (Jack tries to kill the Red Queen while Ace tries to take Riddle’s dorm leader position).Off topic coincidence, there is an otome game where the Jack of Hearts is named "Ace". Now this point’s coincidences seem difficult to be just “coincidences” but at the same time you could also say that Ace’s role as the Jack of Hearts has already ended since he has already had his failed attempt at overthrowing Riddle. The concerning part of this link though is that the Jack of hearts tried to kill the person they were at least it seemed to be very close to and at least loyal to (when in actually he hated her) while Ace himself wasn't very close to Riddle at that point, but who is Ace close to and loyal(?) to? MC and the gang ;-; But still take this possibility as a grain of salt.

Of course, we know Ace’s name isn’t Jack, or at least, hopefully he doesn’t pull a “Ace is not my true name at all! Instead I’m also named Jack/Knave!”. But he does have a older brother who once went to the same school, could it be that Ace’s brother is named Jack/Knave? We don’t know much about his brother besides it seems like he was rather relevant as he led a parade that is shown in a picture in one of the halls of the school and that he’s good at card tricks. And similiar to how the Red Queen and the Queen of Hearts are different, the Knave of hearts and the Red knight could also be different, with the Knave of Hearts and the Red knight being Ace’s brother and him. Still, we need more info to see how relevant Ace’s brother is in all of this.

Next we have the Twisted Wonderland Opening Movie, which has proven to spoil/hint at plot lines before with Azul as the opening movie teases Azul’s overblot form as well as his child self photos. Now in the opening a fan has noted that every character so far that has been seen alone (besides the part where they have the character’s names and dorms, this part (because Kalim appears and the dorm leaders have to be alone)

Every character that has appeared alone or a bit during the opening so far has overbloted, Jamil, Leona, (and we can guess Malleus and Idia will overblot). While every other character has been introduced with someone alongside them, for example, Epel only appears with Rook, Floyd only appears with Jade, Jack only appears with Ruggie, and the Diasomnia group(minus Malleus) only appear with each other. But who else appears by them self? Our boy Ace.

And Deuce who the OP proves alongside Ace has the same amount of relevance is introduced alongside Cater and Trey

Now for Ace to overblot, it probably means he’s gonna do something villainous like I don’t know, betray the group?

Now here’s the thing, does Ace’s character/personality have the potential to be evil/betray us? Yes, 100 times yes. This is the man who went up to us in the prologue and acted all nice and everything explaining the Great Seven, only to laugh (maniacally?) at our misery and ignorance claiming to have only visited us to mess with us and essentially mock us. If Deuce is the person who could and would (if you pissed him off) physically beat you to death, then Ace is the person to psychologically and emotionally torment/manipulate you, oh and verbal abuse too, he’s good at that. One thing I personally find very concerning about Ace is his hobby of card tricks, like aren’t you guys based off of cards? Are you trying to tell me Ace is good at manipulating/messing with people? 

Like we’ve seen Ace be good at acting and lying on two separate occasions in the story, one with us in the beginning, two with the guard at the underwater museum. In his personal stories, for example in the ‘A Kouhai This Honest’ story, Trey comments on how Ace did indeed have ulterior motives to helping Trey besides just wanting a cherry pie as Ace was trying to fish possible test questions out from Trey. This is their conversation:

Ace: “To collect information, I’m carrying all this heavy stuff~ Beside, Trey-senpai you too… You knew from the beginning I wouldn’t carry all this stuff for a pie with lots of cherry on it “

Trey: “ You… could it be you were lying about liking cherries too?”

Ace: “ That’s the truth. I learnt that from my big brother. “When you’re lying mix a bit of truth in it” he said”

And with the ‘Tch, I Got Found Out’ personal story he tries to take the profit all for himself:

Ruggie:  “ But anyway, isn’t it fine in the end? It wraps up without sensei knowing so your mark doesn’t get affected Anyway, I’m also… wait, Ace-kun!? Where are you going with that bag? That’s the mandragoras to be sold to the ghosts. Don’t just take it like that!”

Ace: “ Tch, I got found out. I thought I could sneak off with it while you two aren’t looking at me ”

Ruggie:  “ You were planning to slip out and take the pay all for yourself huh? What an impudent first year”

Jamil:  “ When I thought you were being all meek…You sure are bold”

Ace: ”Hehe, I’ll take that as a praise, senpais ♪ “

It clear to see Ace at times schemes for his own benefit, whether that is taking advantage of his senpais or other people, Ace will lie and pretend to be innocent while carrying out his ulterior motives. Funny how his big brother taught him that.

On another note, Ace has the uncanny ability of being able to copy what he sees, from his brother’s card tricks, to how to speak hedgehog from seeing Rook just say the phrase once, from quickly learning how to extract um, something from mandragoras and doing it very efficiently. Perhaps will his unique magic be a copy magic, maybe copying the unique magic of others? If so, that sounds like an ability that could build up blot fast if he uses it willy-nilly. (it also sounds OP)

All in all, it seems like Ace really does have the potential to be the villain at one point (even though almost all of them are villains lol).

One more thing pointing to a possible Ace betrayal in the future is kinda a stretch in my opinion, but I will list it anyways because it’s coincidences are a bit unnerving. It has to do with birth month flowers and the Dahlia, a flower which can symbolise “Warning someone about a potential betrayal” and Dahlia is the birth flower of August, what month comes right after August? September, the birth month of both Ace and Jamil. Guess what? Jamil betrayed Kalim in the story.

Well, that’s it for the evidence at least I found people using for the Ace betrayal theory, some of it is a stretch and some of it’s is concerning if it was a mere “coincidence”. I hope you enjoyed reading this, regardless if in the end you believe in this theory or not. I personally love this theory because I love the thought of Ace getting more development in the future, also the fan art people make for this theory is great. For example, the twitter account  @GPs_ac has a piece of fan art of the ace betrayal theory and it’s great.

Also If Ace does betray us, I want to see Deuce beat him into the ground ahahaha... (I still love you Ace but I will be hurt if you do betray us, this is why I stan Deuce lol)

Turns out MC can’t trust anyone but Deuce, because Grim is probably gonna overblot and Ace might betray.

Also, fun fact. The Ace of Spades symbolises death

Haha very funny Disney, making our lovable no braincells duo represent death

Anyways feel free to comment your thoughts on the theory!

[familyagrestefanblog]

Miraculous Shanghai theories and analysis

All those leaks and informations we got for the Shanghai special caught my interest BIG TIME and I wanted to post my theories and thoughts before it airs.

Just as a warning, I wrote all of this yesterday before the new promo poster got released this morning but fortunately it's doesn't disprove anything I'm about to say.

So let's go!

Let's start with my tamest theory of this post to clear the track for the batshit craziness that gonna follow: The Peacock miraculous will be involved in the Shanghai special as well.

This doesn't necessarily mean that we will see Mayura but at the very least the Peacock miraculous will be brought up.

I'm certain of this because of two things:

1. The specials logo

It's nothing wild. The yin-yang is obviously Ladybug and Chat Noir and when we cross out the other rainbow colors of the Renling promo pic we are left with two colors: Hawkmoths purple and Mayuras blue.

And 2. In a trailer we saw Gabriel in an old ruin which definitely could be the Guardian temple before Ladybug restores it in "Feast" (the special takes place somewhere in between s2 and s3 so that checks out).

Maybe he goes back to where they found their two miraculous and the Grimoire and then checks out the ruins (cuz honestly why not?) or maybe he is on his way to the creepy underground place. We will see.

Okay but now, let's start with the good stuff! :D

I'm putting it under "continue reading" because it's quite alot and it gets... specific lol

Let's continue with the Renlings and the fact that this time around we are not going to get a new Miracle Box but they are all combined into ONE Miraculous.

That may sounds incredibly overpowered and out of nowhere without context but I think I might now what we are looking at.

The Renlings were called the Kwamis "cousins" so we have to go back to the Chinese Zodiac our Miracle box is based on, because it isn't only made of 12 animals. Cause our 12 animals are also segmented under 8 guardians of the zodiac. And how many Renlings to we get? 8.

Four of these Zodiac guardians are assigned to 2 animals and the other four guard one.

They are segmented as the following:

Thousand Hands Guan Yin - Rat

Akasagarbha Bodhisattva - Ox & Tiger

Manjusri Bodhisattva- Rabbit

Samantabhadra Bodhisattva- Dragon & Snake

Mahasthamaprapta Bodhisattva- Horse

Vairochana Buddha - Goat & Monkey

Acalanatha - Rooster

Amitabha Buddha - Dog & pig

But let me get back to this later.

Unfortunately I legitimately can not explain why these particular animals were chosen to represent the guardians. All I can say is that my initial thought still holds up and the monkey, bear, tiger, dragon, mantis, snake, horse and hawk (look im calling it a hawk in this post idk) are all martial art styles. But they neither belong to one group nor is one of the groups complete.

Maybe I just missed something here (which is definitely possible) but I just can't find the reason for these animals for the guardians. Beside the Dragon as most important one of course, but that's a given.

Anyway, let's continue. A detail that can support my zodiac guardian theory is that while we can only see two animal circles in the promo pic entirely, one of the two has ONE DOT in its picture and the other one has TWO.

Signifying for how many Kwamis the one guardian is assigned to? Possibly.

The dragon in the middle is shown with 8 dots all together, that means is it fair to say that the dragon functions as the main guardian that combines them all. That explains why our new girl for the special has a 8-in-1 Miraculous, why her eyes change for each Renling and why she is trained so professionally.

We don't know yet why the Renlings are all put into one Miraculous, since they work differently from the Kwamis, but I have this thought that the Renlings (in their ONE necklace) were created because of what happened to the guardian temple almost 200 years ago.

Countless Miracle Boxes were lost that day and Fu's Box with the Ladybug and Cat were thought so as well. Possibly the Renlings were an attempt to recreate the powers of at the very least the lost zodiac Kwamis. The Dragon was made into the main guardian and is supposed to step in place for the LB and Cat as we can see on its different color coding echoing the yin-yang, but It obviously didn't work and the Renlings neither possess the same powers or can they be put in separate Miraculous nor is the Dragon a healthy replacement for the yin-yang.

But is was a desperate attempt in a situation that was believed to be lost and I find that thought exciting!

(Btw i have a similar theory for the Superheros from the New York special but that's a theory for another day)

Where to continue, where to continue?

Alright let's stay with the 8 Dragon dots because THOSE caught my interest in more than one way.

As I already said, I think the 4 white dots and 4 block ones stand for the 2 types of zodiac guardians, but now let's take a look at the animal circles surrounding the dragon.

We can see the Bear, the Hawk and a bit of another one between the Bear and Chat Noir in addition to the Dragon. These four circles have animal pictures that are completely colored in (just like the dragon brighter dots)

And now look closely at the animal circles around Chats head. Those are not colored in! Just like the other four Dragon dots. So isn't in interesting that they had our two leads basically hide those four particular animal circles? Almost as if there is a reason for this, huh?

And you know, I looked further and maybe I found something here. And for this let's take another look at the Renlings, shall we?

Four of these Renlings have something in common with our two main characters, can you guess what?

I'll give a hint: The eyes.

I compared all the promo picks we got from the Renlings and noticed that:

1. The snake and the horse have blue eyes like Marinette

2. The monkey has green eyes like Adrien

And 3. The Mantis is the only Renling with special eyes like Chat

The other 4 Renlings have brown eyes in different shades.

But this on it own isn't too exciting. So what if some Renlings share the same eyes as our leads? Well, would you believe it? When I filled in the placements of the other animals circles, through a shot we got in the leaks, I noticed that those 4 Renlings that shear their eyes with Marinette and Adrien are ALSO the 4 animal circles our leads just so happen to hide from us.

How interesting

But that not all I got. Not even CLOSE, I'm just getting started here!

Because not only do Marinettes Snake & Horse and Adriens Monkey & Mantis stand out here, oh no, it gets BETTER!

Now let's take the two promo pics from the Renlings we got where they are finished and colorized.

Did you know that both times they are put in the same formation, just with slightly swapped placement among the Renlings?

And once again here one could say "So what? They were lazy while designing the pics, that's it" but NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH hear me out!

Not only are the Renlings put both times into the same formation, the way they switched their placements isn't random at all:

1. Marinettes Snake and Horse stay both times on exactly the same spot.

2. The tiger and the bear switch places

3. So do the dragon and monkey

4. And the mantis and hawk.

The way the Renlings are shown to us on the promo pics is anything BUT random and that is something that will always get me interested! :D

But you know what? I'm still not done yet. Let's continue with this creepy ass stone door we see Gabriel at

Because as I mentioned, while Marinettes Snake and Horse stay unchanged in their formations, Adriens Monkey and Mantis not only do change places but they aren't paired with another either. So does that mean that Adriens guardian Renlings are just inconsistent? No, not at all. They just have a different meaning and place then Marinettes.

First of all: the Renlings special hair is bright green, just like the color of the tiger (a CAT) on the rainbow scale we got and Adriens/Chats + Monkey & Mantis eyes. And second: in the other promo pic the Renlings have a pink background, just like the rainbow scale color or the Mantis!

Coincidence? I don't care anymore, next point! :D

Because not only THAT but when we take a closer look at the creepy stone door we can make out the placement of every guardian animal as well. And MY, is this fascinating:

As the colors make it clear when you compare these guardian animal door placements to the rainbow scale from the promo pic, here Adriens Monkey & Mantis are in the right places but Marinettes animals are a bit off.

In fact. Everything about the placements of the animals (besides Adriens) are just a bit off.

- Marinettes animals and the bear are almost in the right place just mirror-reversed.

- The Tiger and the Hawk are one place too left.

- And the Dragon shouldn't be in the middle, it should take the place between Adriens animals but it was forced out of position to replace the yin-yang.

But taking the dragon out broke the balance of the animal circle. Everything here is slightly off by one point and that is much more significant than you would initially think. Because when you now turn the whole circle one quarter to the left (there is a reason for it, trust me) and put the dragon back in place then you will get a good part of the picture I've been looking for a long while.

What I'm showing you here are the 4 Chinese creatures of the cardinal directions and they are basically what I would expect to be on the upper layer of a Chinese Miracle box (I'll get to this on another day). And as you can see here, we are basically almost there aren't we?

The tiger of the West and Dragon of the east are in place and while the creature of the North is normally the turtle it is always accompanied by a snake, which is now on the upper place.

"but what about the bear? And a snake is NOT a turtle!" I'm getting to it, my goodness :/

Regarding the bear one thing needs to be said: it is definitely true, the bear is in the wrong place. I don't even know why there is a bear in this formation in the first place and it stuck out to me since day one. The creature of the south is a bird, the HAWK should be here.

But there is a difference between "this thing is in the wrong place and completely random wtf??" and "This thing is in the wrong place but I can see a pattern continuing from other formations that are off as well".

The bear is not only here, it's also:

- alongside the tiger (who is btw suspicious af as well) covering the center points from the Renlings formation that should belong to Adriens animals.

- is with Marinettes animals the only other one that is basically on it right place on the creepy stone door, just mirror-reversed.

-is the new "peak" of the zodiac guardian animal circles because moving the dragon out to the middle left the other ones off-balance and now its kinda tilted to the left. But when we look at the creepy door with not corrected animal placements we see that this was indeed the hawks place. And remember as well, the bear and the hawk are the only two animal circles we see in the promo pic besides the dragon

Meaning in short: That damn bear stole the hawks place and I need it to stop.

Which brings me to the turtle and a whole new can of worms (miraculous should pay me for this omfg...).

Because what if I tell you that the snake, who is normally just accompanying the turtle, being the creature of the north here instead of the turtle is not only "okay enough" it is actually the needed puzzle piece to connect this zodiac Renlings circle with the Chinese Miracle box in the design master Fu had it?

Let me explain

Do you remember when I started talking about the Renlings I said I would come back to the way the rl zodiac guardians are paired with the zodiac animals "later"? Well, later is NOW, because there is one more way those 8 dots from that damn dragon caught my interest and it also explains why I just turned the guardian stone circle one quarter to the left.

Because believe and behold, this is not the only place where things are "slightly off".

A while I started taking closer looks and research on the original miracle box design and the Kwami spirit circle we saw in "Sandboy".

I will try to not go into unnecessary details with this now because all of that needs its own post. I'm already going off the hooks with this one. But just like here I noticed with these two things rather quickly that "things are slightly off, but in a suspiciously systematic way".

Going straight ahead to the example I'm talking about, the order the 12 zodiac animals follow on the side of the box is straight up upside-down. The first zodiac animal is the rat (or mouse) and the last one the pig and YET in the box the rat is right at the bottom and the pig on the top.

This upside down arrangement of the animals results in the wrong animals being the 4 who have a guardian assigned for themselves

The four single miraculous in between the 4 directions are obviously the ones I'm talking about. Here they are Tiger, Snake, Pig, Monkey (I hope you are making a connection here) but that's wrong, as are the other 4x2 ones.

BUT

When we now flip it upside down again, having the rat start on the pigs place and the pig end on the rats, then things suddenly are correct.

Here the rl guardian pairings again:

Thousand Hands Guan Yin - Rat

Akasagarbha Bodhisattva - Ox & Tiger

Manjusri Bodhisattva- Rabbit

Samantabhadra Bodhisattva- Dragon & Snake

Mahasthamaprapta Bodhisattva- Horse

Vairochana Buddha - Goat & Monkey

Acalanatha - Rooster

Amitabha Buddha - Dog & pig

As you can see, now it's correct.

You may wonder what this has to do with the Dragon dots, so lets look at the Kwami spirit circle next.

I've been analyzing and taking this thing apart now for MONTHS now. And while I'm certainly having a blast, the fact that I now officially have an entire FOLDER at home dedicated to this thing alone is quite...

Bruh...

But thankfully we will really only need the basics for this theory here.

Through zooming in and watching the "Sandboy" Kwami spirit World scenes over and over again I was able to figure out the placement of each Kwami.

When you now follow the moons in the middle towards the Kwamis you will notice that only the moon at the top alignes with one and that's DUUSU. The other 4 miss the Kwamis just by a bit.

But remember what I said the entire time. Everything is just slightly off by ONE little factor but when we "fixed" that factor for the stone wall there was still something left that didn't fit. That's because not only are the Shanghai zodiac guardians structures off, it was built on top of a structure that is ALREADY slightly off by another factor!

Something is fundamentally WRONG with Kwami balance in the current ml universe and what I think happened to throw everything off is NOOROO.

Keeping this point short for everybodys sanity, in the french version of "Sandboy" we find out that Nooroo is having his 3500 cycle birthday and him being the Kwami which gets its birthday pointed out is no coincidence. (Guys please just go with me here, I really dont have the strenght to elaborate on this now as well)

So when Nooroo is the factor that brought imbalance to the Kwami system then how does the spirit circle look like WITHOUT Nooroo?

Now THIS is more like it!

Without Nooroo the size of the circle changes slightly all around and now the other 4 moons align with the Dragon, rat, chicken and horse.

And believe it or not, but take a guess what it looks like when we now highlight these 4 Kwamis in the arrangement of the 12 zodiac Kwamis both upside down and correct?

It's the 2 types of Dragon dots.

And let's take this further. When the 12 Zodiac Kwamis are upside down then so is obviously the entire upper layer of the Miracle box as well, which explains why, although the 5 Miraculous places around the yin-yang are based on the 5 chinese elements, the way they are arranged here is once again upside down.

Meaning the yin-yang is upside down as well, but not only that. I always found it weird that the yin-yang here is placed SIDEWAYS when this is not exactly the normal way of showing it.

So when we now turn the yin-yang a quarter to the left and take the 5 Miraculous surrounding it along, we might be closer to the puzzles solution. Because when we now take Nooroo out (as he wouldn't be there when things had gone right) then Fu's miracle box should have looked like this:

Notice 2 things here in particular:

1. Now the Turtle is at the top, which completes the connection between the Renlings Snake and the Kwamis Turtle to create the only creature of the 4 directions that is portrayed with one accompanied: the Turtle of the North.

And while I'm already at it, this is also the reason why Fu's/Ninos Miraculous is the only one that doesn't fit the hero color scheme when activated.

The Turtle of the North is colored BLACK and sometimes with additional white, just like the activated Miraculous.

And 2. Now after being mirror reversed and turned one quarter to the left the Ladybugs and Cats yin-yang isn't sideways anymore and looks EXACTLY like the yin-yang used in the Shanghai promo pictures. Almost like this is the way it is supposed to be or something.

Alright. Ive told you ALOT now but this is precisely the reason why I wanted to post this before the special airs. I'm definitely not entirely right with all of this, there is alot I haven't figured out about these things yet or simply haven't seen yet. What I just showed to you is not anywhere close to done so some questions are still left open.

I wanted to make another point about how the zodiac monkey, mantis and horse are the only 3 Renlings that do not have any symbol on their bodies and how this could connect to the object Hawkmoth has in that one leak

But even i think this is going to far now and I should wait until I watched the special xD

But my point in all of this (and everything I haven't even touched upon here but will in the future) is that everything in s1-s3 was influenced by this fundamental off-balance of the Kwami system that I think was caused with Nooroos creation. Which is very fitting for the Kwami of our main villain I may say. And the fact that these 4 miraculous are also somehow linked to the peacock out of all miraculous gives us an explanation for its villainous usage as well.

I think the Shanghai special will start the exploration of what happened by at least laying down and introducing the most important aspects of this particular topic.

To say that I am TRILLED for this special is quite the understatement and I'm gonna have a BLAST analysing the hell out of its lore!

So I guess there is only one thing left for me to say:

Yo

Miraculous crew

[dapandapod]

Hollow pt 4

It is finally here. After a year, the last chapter of Hollow is here. Prompted by my darling shiny @chaotic-fae-queen and a careful beta read by wonderful @kuripon (both are amazing writers, go check them out!) and Im so happy for them both!

Thank you all for following me through this. I hope you like this last chapter 💖

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Ao3

He is anger and hurt and shuddering breaths and thunder and sadness.

It trembles through him, when Jaskier looks at him with no recognition. Geralt knew, he knew it would happen and still it hurts. It was wise to let Yennefer approach first as he is not sure he would have been able to do it again. If the bard feels any fear, the wind has swept the scent of it away.

Jaskier leads them towards a little hut a short walk from the beach. It is a nice hut, walls tightly fitted and barely letting any of the raging wind inside. The inside is as modest as the outside; there is a bed, a fireplace and a small bookcase. The lute is leaning against the wall in the far corner of the room, seemingly untouched. A table stands in the middle of the room with two chairs. Of course.

Yennefer sits down while Jaskier bustles around to start a pot of tea, and Geralt leans against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest.

“May I offer you anything? I didn’t bring much but I'm sure I still have biscuits somewhere.”

Geralt ignores him, eyes locking on a familiar notebook on the bed. It is a bit worse for wear than last he saw it, the pages worn with use. Jaskier always brought that with him, and that seems to be true still.

“So, Gerald was it?” Jaskier says, looking through cabinets and drawers in his hunt for biscuits. “Have you been around these parts before?” Smalltalk. Jaskier is making smalltalk.

Geralt nods silently, still avoiding to look at the bard. He can hear the bard turn to look for a reply, so he nods again, staring holes into the notes.

“Jaskier, would you please sit down with me for a moment?” Yennefer finally asks, snapping Jaskier out of his hosting duties. When Yennefer asks like that, it is better to listen.

“There is something I need to tell you, and I need you to listen and tell me if you recall anything.”

Geralt chances a look at Jaskier, who is swallowing hard and darts a look back at Geralt. Fuck. He aches inside, and he looks away again with a frown.

“What do you remember from before you came to Oxenfurt?” Yennefer asks.

“I- uh…” Jaskier frowns, looking down at the table. “I'm not sure. I remember I hired someone to bring me there, but I can’t recall his name anymore. I think I was attacked on the road, because I have a scar on my side.” As Jaskier talks, he idly touches the side where the scar hides.

Yennefer nods and then looks pointedly at Geralt.

“I took you to Oxenfurt,” Geralt grumbles out. “And it was because of me you were hurt.”

“Geralt!” Yennefer protests, but it’s the truth. Geralt's truth.

“You did? But I don’t recognize you at all!” Jaskier says and Geralt just wants to leave.

“Alright, we will do this another way.” Yennefer sighs, clearly done with Geralt already. “Jaskier, memories were taken from you. Are being taken from you. You and Geralt spent years together, and something is making you forget him.” Jaskier frowns at that, then puts his face in his hands.

A soft moan comes from him, as if he were in pain.

“Do you know what you have forgotten, good and bad, or do you wish to carry on? I need to know if you want to remember.” She asks, and puts a hand on his shoulder. “I won’t force it on you. You have a choice.” Yennefer shoots Geralt a glare as she says this.

The seconds tick by, and Geralt is all nerves.

On one hand, he desperately wants Jaskier safe. On the other hand, he desperately wishes to have him close. They don’t go well together, sadly.

“I think I need to know.” Jaskier finally says, and Geralt feels like someone has punched him in the chest. “But I don’t think I can do it today. It is a lot to take in.”

~

Yennefer and Geralt return to the hut in the morning. The skies have cleared up and the gulls are circling high above them and diving into the wild sea. Jaskier sits outside his door, leaning back against the dirt wall, chewing on a piece of straw. His eyes are closed, head tilted up towards the sun. The breeze is warm and brings a salty tang with it. When they come closer, Jaskier startles.

“Yennefer! I'm so glad to see you! It’s been so long!” He bounces up, arms wide like he is going in for a hug. He doesn’t, thankfully, so Yennefer doesn’t have to do something cruel. It doesn’t bode well that he doesn’t remember yesterday, but at least they are about to do something about it.

Then Jaskier's eyes snag on the witcher behind her, and his eyes widen comically.

“Bringing a bodyguard while visiting little ol' me?” His eyes rake Geralt up and down. Not a modest bone in that one.

“He will be staying outside,” She says with a smirk over her shoulder and Geralt scowls. “Do you have chamomile tea?”

She stalks into his hut without waiting, sitting down in the same chair as yesterday. Jaskier comes inside after her, giving one last look at Geralt before he closes the door, and then he starts the same routine as yesterday, looking for herbs and kettles.

“It really is such a great coincidence to meet you today, Yennefer,” He tells her, banging the same cabinets and drawers. “There is something I need to ask you.”

He puts the water on, takes out mugs for them and finally, finally sits down. There is a short silence, only disturbed by the sound of waves and seabirds from the outside. Yennefer is sure Geralt is listening to every word they say through the door.

“I think,.” Jaskier begins, clutching his empty cup in his hands,” I think there is something wrong with me.” He looks absolutely miserable, twirling the cup back and forth.

“What makes you think that?” She asks, knowing full well.

“I have a notebook,” Jaskier says quietly, like a confession. “It is filled with my handwriting, but I don’t remember a thing.”

Oh.

“Yennefer. I think I was in love.”

Oh fuck.

���May I see it?” She asks. She doesn’t know why she asks, but it is too late now. Jaskier hesitates for a moment, then he stands up, checks on the pot above the fire, and fetches a collection of notes that Geralt was trying to stare to death yesterday.

That explains a thing or two.

“I can’t for the life of me figure out why I don’t remember them. And everything in here is just hints, the shapes of secrets,” he says as Yennefer looks through the worn pages. It’s beautiful and rough, and just as he said, shapes. But Yennefer sees Geralt in them, and he sees the feelings Jaskier talks about.

“I might know what is wrong with you,” she says, closing the book and pushing it over the table. Jaskier takes it and strokes it’s cover lovingly. “But I need to do something to be certain. Jaskier, are you sure you want to know? Because there is so much pain in your past.”

Jaskier takes a moment, thinking it over. When he looks at her again, he looks troubled.

“It feels like someone is raking through my mind, and there are so many things I just can’t wrap my head around.” Jaskier says, looking down at the table. “It is eating me up inside, carving and emptying me out. I need to know.”

The same reply as yesterday then. Good. She can work with that.

~

Yennefer is strong. Incredibly powerful. Julian can’t wield magic, but he feels the vibrations of it in his chest, in his mind.

“You have a powerful curse on you,” she tells him, sweat forming on her forehead. She makes no attempt to wipe it away, only trying to force her breathing into a more steady rhythm. “It is going to be a bit tricky undo. I need to find what it is centered around.”

The vibrations stop, and he feels strangely empty when it’s gone.

“How?” Julian asks, and Yennefer smirks. She is indeed terrifying when she does that.

“I'm going to ask intrusive questions and you are going to answer them honestly.”

And she does. She asks about everything and nothing. When she asks him about his lute, he is surprised. He has a lute? Since when? Then he looks around the small hut and sees it standing in a corner. Not for the first time, he feels fear’s icy fingers grip around him.

Then she asks him about the songs, the poems, if he remembers where it all comes from. He finds he cannot answer.

“I have a theory,” Yennefer finally says, sipping her tea. “It is a little insulting if it is true, but nonetheless.”

“Let's hear it,” Julian replies, will he finally, finally know what’s happening to him.

“I think the curse makes you forget what you love most.”

Julian gapes. A million things run through his mind. A million things, his minds fingers grasping after them as they slip away.

“I can break it, but it will take some work. Do you want that?” She looks at him, he feels her in his head. He knows she has found his answer, but he says it anyway.

“Yes.”

~

Geralt hears bits and pieces from the conversation going on inside. He has taken the chair that Jaskier vacated, the sun warming his face in the breeze. Geralt tries not to listen in. Nothing good would come from hearing their conversation.

He focuses on the sea instead. On the gulls cry, on the roar of the waves, on the familiar lull of Jaskiers voice. It is peaceful. Quiet. If it wasn’t for the storm inside him, he would have been content.

Jaskier's eyes on him today, assessing him like he would a stranger in a tavern, it was… sad. Geralt misses his friend. And fears for him too. The scar that already mars his body, the curse, just being with Geralt puts him in danger.

What will happen next? When Jaskier remembers? What if he can’t remember, if Yennefer can’t break it? Geralt is not sure which is worse, but being forgotten hurts. There are many ways to lose a friend. But it stings even now, as he knows that the word friend is not enough. Not near enough.

Geralt has many friends. Many people he cherishes. But with Jaskier, it’s bigger. What he feels when he looks at him, it’s… frightening. He knows the word for it. It is waiting on the tip of his tongue, hidden behind firmly shut lips. The reason he needs to protect Jaskier.

Geralt falls into meditation easily. Their voices through the wall become a backdrop, his mind following the clouds instead of the raging sea. It soothes him to hear Jaskier again. Yennefer is right. It is not his decision to make.

Shame and fear drove him to this.

Geralt is selfish, he knows.

His medallion vibrates, a flash of light and the smell of sulfur breaks him out of meditation.

In the blink of an eye, Geralt is on his feet, sword in hand and heart in his throat. He sees no threat, senses no one else in the area, and slowly straightens again. Right.

So it’s done then.

This is when Jaskier leaves him, memories intact.

Silence reins inside the hut. Geralt doesn’t dare break it. He sits back down, leaning his head back against the wall. He closes his eyes and feels every emotion that rushes through him. All the what-ifs, all the if-nots.

Maybe Geralt should leave. He could leave, right now, and Jaskier wouldn’t get hurt because of him again.

Jaskier comes out of the hut, Yennefer close behind him. Geralt turns his head and looks at them, but says nothing.

Yennefer puts a hand on Jaskier's arm, squeezing it and smiling. Jaskier stands with his back turned, but Geralt thinks he is smiling too.

“I’ll be in town if you need me,” Yennefer says quietly. She turns, opens a portal, and then she is gone.

Once again silence sits between them, thick and heavy.

When Jaskier turns, he is frowning.

For a long moment, they just look at each other. Geralt feels locked in place, the roar of his emotions keeping him firmly stuck.

“Why?” Jaskier asks finally. He looks angry, hurt, disappointed.

“Because I can’t lose you,” Geralt says before he can stop himself. It is the truth anyway.

“So you let me forget?”

“To keep you safe.”

“Geralt. Do you know what the curse was?” Jaskier asks, and Geralt shakes his head. Jaskier presses his lips together into a thin line, another flash of anger behind those blue eyes.

“It made me forget what I love the most. Who I love the most.”

Geralt did….not expect that.

“Vital parts of me, gone. Do you know what it’s like to feel hollow inside, Geralt? To have a piece of yourself so thoroughly missing?” Jaskier's voice is calm, and Geralt can’t stand it.

Geralt swallows thickly and stands up, walking closer to Jaskier.

With one hand he grips Jaskier's chin and angles it up so that they look at each other.

“I do.” Geralt confesses. He is pain and fear and hurt and shuddering breaths and thunder and sadness.

It tears through him, and he lets himself feel it, show it, and Jaskier watches it all.

Jaskier loves him.

Jaskier forgot him.

Geralt let him.

“Why did you let me go?” Jaskier whispers, his own hurt and sadness and shuddering breaths falling from his lips. His hand comes up to wrap around Geralt's wrist, his eyes searching for the something hiding on the tip of Geralt's tongue.

“Because I… Because I love you,” Geralt says quietly, and the something builds. Builds and builds in his chest, so big that he can barely breathe. Geralt lets his other hand come up and cup Jaskier's cheek.

They are standing close together, the wind tearing at their clothes, but they are holding on to each other so tightly.

“Because I can’t stand to see you hurt, not because of someone like me.”

“Geralt-”

“Please let me say this. I think I need to tell you this.”

Jaskier nods and shuts his mouth, his hand on Geralt's wrist warm and grounding, keeping him steady.

“I am selfish, Jaskier.” It feels so good to say his name again. “The only way for me to let you go, I-”

He falters. It is hard to speak. Once again he admires Jaskiers ability to express himself.

“To forget me, to let you go this way was the safest way I knew how. It hurt me, but I could live with that pain if it meant that you are safe.”

Anger and hurt flashes in his eyes again.

“Geralt. She tooks my memories, yes, she made me forget all I love, all that brings me joy. Not just you. I forgot my name. My lute. My songs. My friends. One after another, they all faded away. Do you know how terrifying that is?”

With his words, Geralt grows cold. He didn’t realize it was so bad.

Let it hurt you like it hurt me.

It made perfect sense now. The spell was aimed at him, not Jaskier. And Jaskier has so much love in him.

“And I kept you from those things.” Geralt realizes with a shaky whisper. “I thought I could keep you safe, but I hurt you. Again. I don’t know how to keep you safe.” Jaskier smiles sadly at him and pushes their foreheads together.

“Idiot witcher,” He says, and Geralt closes his eyes. “Life isn’t safe. I am very angry with you for leaving me, Geralt. But I am incredibly happy you came back for me.”

“I almost didn’t.” Geralt confesses with a whisper, because he can’t seem to stop himself from hurting either of them. “I was so convinced that you were safer without me.”

“I probably would be,” Jaskier agrees, and the confirmation rips through him, sharper than any blade. “And you will never stop believing that. But you don’t get to make that choice for me. That choice is mine.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I think that is only the third time in my life I have heard you apologise,” Jaskier says, and Geralt can hear the teasing smile in his voice.

“I have something I need to say too, but I think you already know by now.”

Geralt swallows hard again, a roaring need rising in his chest.

“Would you look at me, Geralt?” Jaskier whispers, and he does. Their eyes lock, inches from each other, and Jaskier's grip on his wrist tightens. His eyes are so incredibly blue.

“I love you,” Jaskier tells him, smiling sadly again.

No, that sad smile is not allowed.

Geralt leans forward that last inch, tilting his head, closing that terrible distance.

It is soft and a little awkward. Jaskier kisses him back, lips dry and clinging to each other, but Geralt wants nothing else.

“Don’t ever let me forget again.” Jaskier whispers against his lips.

Geralt can do nothing but promise.

[draconicfaenerd]

Obey Me Theory: In Which God is an Asshole and Solomon Might be a Good Guy?

Okay, here’s the deal. I have way too much time on my hands at the moment and was suddenly struck with inspiration, so I decided to cook up a little theory of my own.

Well, not so little. I’ve been writing this over the last few days, and this turned into something bigger than I was expecting.

Alright, here we go.

One of the great mysteries of this game: who the fuck wrote the whole Tale of the Seven Lords series? I mean, it foreshadows so much of the game’s plot twists that it’s absolutely insane! My initial thought was that Barbatos wrote it, especially since he’s the one who has a bunch of time travel/timeline powers that are, frankly, quite frightening. However, this theory leaves one gaping plot hole: how does Simeon know what’s gonna happen in the upcoming volume? Even Mammon and Satan take note of the fact that they have no idea why Simeon would know something like that. Who besides Barbatos could possibly have the power to see the future? Given this game’s penchant for foreshadowing, this is undoubtedly an important question we need to ask ourselves.

And I’d like to make you think about something as you answer that question.

While we know a fair bit about Barbatos’s power, we know practically nothing about the angels’ powers. Surely it doesn’t make sense that the demons have access to this wild reality-bending power that the angels don’t. Unless they actually do. How is this possible? Well, I turn to my knowledge of Christianity for this part of the theory.

According to many people’s interpretation of Judaism and Christianity, God is supposed to be an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-seeing entity. He knows anything and everything that has happened, is happening, and can/will happen in the future. Additionally, He can set everything up so that events happen according to His plan. Pretty difficult to go up against, right? Now, granted, we don’t know a lot about the game’s interpretation of God (yet); there are enough twists on Biblical canon that it is difficult to determine what direction this is going to go in. However, I do expect that God is supposed to be a ridiculously powerful character in-game; maybe as powerful as (or even more so than) Barbatos.

Side note: However, he is not all-powerful, and here’s how I know: he wasn’t able to just erase Lilith. Yes, I’m sure he was powerful enough to kill her, but not so powerful that he could just kill her immediately free of consequences.

But more on this later; now back to my original point. God is the author of TSL. Or, at the very least, is the divine inspiration behind it (where one of the angels or a specifically chosen human is the one to transcribe it). This explains why an angel such as Simeon would have knowledge of the upcoming plot. Another piece of evidence to back up my point: exposure to divinity. One point that pops up a few times in the Bible is the idea that anyone/anything who comes too close to God’s presence directly will perish. A couple of examples of this are the burning bush that Moses faces and the Ark of the Covenant which the Israelites are forbidden to touch. Now, you may be wondering what these examples have to do with Obey Me. The answer is simple: the TSL soundtrack. Remember why Lucifer was so interested in this soundtrack in the first place?

First off, a scene where the Lord of Corruption places a curse on the heroes? I have a few thoughts on that, but I’ll get to that in a little bit. What I’d like to focus on is the mysterious composer and the people who die surrounding the soundtrack. Lucifer tells us on our final night in the Devildom that the record isn’t actually cursed:

But. Well. I don’t trust that. He’s (probably) not purposefully lying to us, but I don’t think this can be a coincidence. I think that TSL was divinely inspired (along with its soundtrack) and for some reason, this particular soundtrack was too much for ordinary humans to handle (we know that MC isn’t ordinary because of their amount of hidden power that has been discussed; more on that later.) 

So I’d like to bring up something else. Propaganda.

God has already spread copious amounts of propaganda about the brothers. Why do I say this? Well, I’m going off the assumption that the human world MC comes from is pretty similar to the human world that all of you readers (and me, obviously) live in. Why does this matter? Religious texts. There’s no denying that Judaism/Christian and their respective texts have greatly influenced the course of world history. Which means, in canon, those same texts no doubt exist in the Human Realm. Now, assuming they were “divinely inspired” (another assumption, but one that seems to make sense to me), a plethora of lies were told. First of all, many of these texts paint Lucifer (the Morningstar) as: the original Fallen Angel, The Devil, the Prince of Hell, and the reason why Sin and Death entered the world (meaning he was the one who tempted Eve). In Obey Me canon, Lucifer was the leader of the rebellion, yes, but he is very different from how he would be painted in Biblical texts. First of all, the Devildom was around for a very long time before the Fall (leading to questions on the true power of the realms, but more on that later). Furthermore, Diavolo and the Demon King are more of what we consider to be “the Devil”; sketchy motives aside (which I’ve discussed in other posts), they are the ones that have the final say in the Devildom’s affairs. Not Lucifer. Yes, the brothers might hold the titles and responsibilities of being the “Seven Rulers of Hell,” but ultimately their will is overridden by Diavolo’s. Additionally, I’d like to talk about that last point: sin and death. In the Bible, Lucifer brought sin and death into the world by tempting Eve to eat the fruit from the forbidden tree. However, in Obey Me canon, we know this is not the case; death existed long before the Fall. We know this because Lilith’s human lover was going to die, hence why she fed him forbidden food from the Celestial Realm. Then, God was going to have her erased and ultimately sparked the Rebellion against Him.

So. We know that God is plenty willing to pin plenty of shit on Lucifer. But other than causing an abnormal amount of daddy issues, what does this have to do with anything? Well, remember how I noted earlier with the TSL soundtrack that it was supposed to be used in a scene where the Lord of Corruption placed a curse on the heroes? Well, the Lord of Corruption represents Lucifer. So, given the game’s penchant for foreshadowing, it seems like Lucifer is going to place a curse on the heroes (forgive me for making yet another assumption, but I interpret MC and the brothers as the heroes). Given Lucifer’s love for his family (and later MC), this doesn’t really make any sense. My initial thought was that the whole attic debacle was the curse, but that doesn’t really make sense either. But. Remember what I just said about God pinning shit on Lucifer. What if God is the one planning to put a curse on the heroes? Just think about that for a bit, let it sink in.

Now, why would God place a curse on the heroes? We know that He and the angels were able to defeat the brothers before, so they could do so again if the need ever arose, right? And why place a curse on MC, an ordinary human?

Well, not-so-ordinary human.

Remember why Asmo made a pact with MC in the first place? Solomon talks to us about how everyone has magical power within them, and it manifests itself in some, but not in others (this is already suspicious as fuck to me that a power as strong as MC’s wouldn’t manifest itself, but our in-game knowledge of magic is vague enough that I’m not really gonna dance around that right now). Anyways, MC gets stuck with Mammon, Beel, and Levi in the underground labyrinth again, and they summon Asmo and draw out even more power than Solomon can. Pretty strange, right? Belphegor also alludes to MC’s great power with his whole “you have the power to control demons” speech.

So basically we have this incredible power. And, if I’m on the right track here, then we’re a threat to God. As I explain here, Lilith is the reason we were chosen for the exchange program in the first place. Additionally, when you meet her as you’re dying and you reply to her and ask her what she’s doing, she says this:

So… there’s a lot going on in her whole dialogue. Really. There’s so much to dissect. And frankly, I don’t think I can dissect it all. So for now, I’m going to focus on the snippets that stood out to me. “I’ve been waiting for so long, you see. I’ve been waiting for you to come find me.” Um, what? First of all, Lilith’s spirit has been around for several thousands of years, right? Granted, the Obey Me timeline isn’t super clear, but still. Even if Lilith has been waiting around for MC ever since their birth, MC is however old the player is (probably late teens or in their twenties since that’s the demographic the game is geared towards); but even if MC is supposed to be way older than that, their lifespan is a very short time compared to Lilith’s existence. Unless. Unless Lilith has been waiting for longer than MC is supposed to be alive. Unless Lilith knew that someone as powerful as MC would come into existence and… do whatever it is Lilith wants us to do. Still not completely sure about that. (Also take note that Lilith never tells us herself that MC is her descendant; make of that what you will).

Also, she says that she’s worried about all her brothers and tells us to “save them” and that she’ll “lend us her powers.” So at first, I thought she was worried about them emotionally, and that she wanted us to save them by serving as emotional support for them. But we didn’t need her for our consciousness to transfer, and Barbatos took care of our alternate self. So what did we need her power boost for? The answer: something that’s coming up in the future. What exactly? I’m not completely sure. But, I do know that Solomon has an idea of what it is, based on the text conversation with him right after leaving the Devildom.

Now, is it possible Solomon knows because of his pact with Barbatos? Yes, it absolutely is. I know that I’ve said time and time again that Solomon’s pact with Barbatos is going to prove to be crucial in future chapters, and I still firmly believe that. However, if something is happening on the Celestial Realm side of things, Solomon has a connection there which would allow him to know the goings-on.

So for those of you who grew up in religious families, you probably remember a little bit about King Solomon; the “man after God’s own heart” (different translations may say something slightly different, but that’s the version most of us probably heard) who, when he had the chance to ask for one gift from God, chose to ask for wisdom. Now, many clues in-game point to show that there’s a good chance that this Solomon is supposed to be that very same guy. Such clues include his mystical powers and his many pacts, particularly his pact with Asmodeus. Now, remember when Solomon told us near the beginning of the game about the Ring of Wisdom he received? He never tells us about the mystery person who gave it to him, but I personally think he received it from God; since in Biblical canon God “gave him wisdom.” Additionally, remember how he talked about getting drunk off its power at first? That piece of information coincides with my earlier point about how exposure to divinity is difficult for humans to handle.

Also, remember that Solomon is a VERY big fan of TSL. (Enough to impress Levi, and enough that he has that super-rare pendant of the Lord of Corruption’s wing). So, given that God is probably the one behind the creation of this series, it stands to reason that his connection to God has something to do with this.

Additionally, while on the topic of Solomon, there is yet another chat (the one that he sends you on your birthday) that shows that he seems to be well aware of something that you, the player, are not:

As I’ve said before, this game really loves its foreshadowing. So, we’re definitely gonna have to save Solomon at some point: now, I know I’ve called him shady many times before, and he really truly is. But.

Maybe he’s not nearly as evil as I originally thought. He has helped us before, but it’s admittedly difficult to pin down his motives. However, if saving him is going to be necessary to the plot, then Solmare probably isn’t gonna make us rescue a bad guy. Emphasis on probably.

Also… he says “first birthday here in the Devildom”... which leads me to believe that MC will have many, many birthdays with the brothers to come in the future. So. Now that I’ve talked about Solomon, I’d like to talk about Luke.

He sends you a chat that opens up some pretty good insight into the whole situation:

Now, we know that Luke is pretty fond of MC, and we’re led to believe that Simeon cares about MC too; however, this whole “charm that attracts both demons and angels alike” doesn’t sit quite right with me. Now, yes, both the in-game angels care about MC, but that doesn’t seem to quite cover Luke’s statement. But what if… There are other angels that have taken an interest in MC? And I don’t mean romantically, I mean… what if one or more of them know about our power? As I said before, Lilith gave us a power boost for something that’s coming up in the future. Something big. And if MC truly has a special sort of charm that attracts demons and angels alike, they could prove to be very dangerous if, say, there were to be another power struggle between realms. But what does this all have to do with Luke anyways? Remember who Luke works for? Michael. Yes, that’s right, the Archangel Michael. Probably the most powerful angel in all of the Celestial Realm. What does this have to do with anything? Well, after the exchange program ends, the higher-ranked angels (including Michael) are no doubt going to want reports of everything that happened during the exchange program… including information about MC. And really, who better to ask that information from than someone as utterly devoted to Michael himself as we’ve seen Luke is?

And if this is the case… Michael will probably hand all of that information right over to God. Given how the Obey Me God seems to be, this is not good news for MC or the brothers.

Now. Just because we can’t trust God doesn’t mean we should go blindly trusting Diavolo and Barbatos either. In fact, @phairfantooooom does a phenomenal job here explaining just how sketchy and terrifying they really are. Maybe I’ll have more of my own comments to add later if the mood strikes me, but for now I’m gonna leave it at that.

One final word: MC is being used as a pawn in a grander game between the realms for which they have no idea how to play, but they better figure it out fast.

Or maybe, just maybe, I’m losing my mind during quarantine and I really just want the sexy, shady sorcerer to not be a bad guy.

We’ll see. So... what do you all make of this? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

[annonmaly]

Spoilers Ahead!

Hi, fellow bored humans! Today is another day to set aside our real-life problems and overthink matters about fictional situations. Because why not? Mochijun-Sensei can make us do that. So, last time I made a post questioning Misha's knowledge of Vani's self-hypnotism. So before anything else, I want to thank you guys who took the time to read, liked, and replied to that post. It is fun to read ideas that even I can not think about.

Grab a cup of coffee and be prepared for a long-ass non-sense.

I am calling human Vanitas = Vani, and Luna = Luna. The pronoun I use is "she" because I would not confuse myself. I know Luna said she is an enby so, do not fight me.

Today, I want to talk about Luna and her death. I know that we have too little information in our hands right now, but my brain cells can still assume something based on what we have. This thought came about with the premise that Luna is an Archiviste.

I can't think of anything that happened to them "that day", but I have a theory of why Vani killed Luna. To make things clear, I will summarize my assumptions and list them down. I made an explanation of each point. Supposedly, those would come first but I didn't expect it to be so long, that's why I decided to just put it at the end. You could ignore it if you want. Check it out if you are curious.

Luna is an Archiviste

Vani is protecting memory from his early childhood

Vani casts the hypnotism while/after he was training to be a chasseur but before Luna's death

Luna bit Vani the day she died

Do you see where I'm going with this?

Here is the idea: I think Vani killed Luna because she forced herself to drink Vani's blood for whatever reason and the self-hypnotism activated. Sound farfetched? Because it is, but I'll show you why I thought it this way.

This is my one and only proof. The eyes are almost the same, right? See, I told you I could make a long-ass post just from two panels. The left one is from the Bal-Masque arc before Vani made a scene. The right one is before Vani and Noe's death fight. I believe that Vani's hypnotism is triggered in both pictures. I actually hesitated if I should do this since Mochijun-Sensei really loves including similarities in the story. You see, Astolfo and Misha made the same eye. But all three of them have the same eyes the moment they thought about why they would kill a vampire.

Vani - to not allow anyone to steal his memory

Astolfo - because vampires shouldn't even exist

Misha - Noe didn't drink Vani's blood.

So yeah, whatever, I'll go ahead and write this one. Vani would be the main focus of this thing.

1. The way Vani's hallucination phrased this is interesting. We know Vani's father died protecting him. What about Luna? If Vani killed Luna intentionally or because of hate, she did not die "because" of Vani. Vani killed her. There's a difference between the two. Behind all that facade that Vani is showing, he's kind. He's not someone who could just kill anyone without any reason when he's in the right mind. Especially if that someone is the one who became his guardian and is helping him to find a cure to make his body normal. Initially, I thought that Luna had gone wild and reach the point of no return. That's why Vani had no other choice. Though if this is the reason, Luna still did not die because of Vani. Now, this phrase would only be right if Luna died protecting Vani or if something happened to Vani. How could this happen if she was killed by the one she's protecting. So, what if, instead of Luna going wild, Vani is the one breaking down. Thus, Luna had really no choice but to make Vani her kin. If she's an archiviste and Vani already casted the hypnotism. It would be triggered and so he had no choice but to kill Luna.

"You give yourself someone to protect that's why you're weak." -Vani to Jeanne

If Luna didn't save Vani and Misha, she might still be alive. If she chose to abandon or kill Vani (when Vani loses his mind), she might still be alive. But Luna chose to save him by making him her kin. She handicapped herself by choosing to protect Vani and she died by doing so.

2. Maybe Luna doesn't want to use this method because it involves blood drinking to leave her mark. If she's an Archiviste, perhaps her reason is the same as Noe does not drink blood "She doesn't want to look at anyone's memory without permission".

3.Vani was never an honest and straightforward guy. If there is someone/thing he wants to protect he wouldn't say it outright. Sometimes we would go full on beast mode, just to hide his real agenda. It already happened a lot (reread the manga for examples). So maybe the reason he strongly disagrees is that he knows that once Luna tries to bit her he would lose his mind and try to kill her.

4. This is just so heartbreaking. Look at how he cried. I think this is not a cry of relief. Vani is crying out of frustration. It's not because he wanted to kill Noe. For me, it's like Vani is saying "I killed Luna, why can't I kill now." I mean, he realized that this ordeal could be solved without killing the other party. But why didn't it happened before?

This is just a half baked theory so of course there are still things that could negate these panels:

If Luna is talking with Vani here, she makes him her kin even before dying. Since everything is so calm. Though I would ignore reality and think that Luna is talking with Misha here. I think that Misha became her kin first since he is breaking down first.

The flashback of Misha shouting at Vani, maybe this is just hallucinations. But if this is true, it means that they spent some time together after Luna's death. And yeah, all of this would be meaningless.

Explanation of each point

1. Luna is an Archiviste. The theory is already out there, so I wouldn't explain it anymore.

2. Vani is protecting memory from his early childhood & 3. Vani casts the hypnotism while/after he was training to be a chasseur but before Luna's death. Going back to my previous post, I mentioned that it is strange for Misha to know that Vani hypnotized himself if Luna is the one who begged Vani to not let anyone take his memory on her deathbed because:

a. The timeline doesn't coincide. The chance that Misha and Vani separated "that day" which is I believe the same day as Luna's death is high. So, there's no way Misha could know.

b. Misha forgot what happened "that day". However, it's not like Vani doesn't want Misha to remember. I don't know but I feel like everything would be civil if Misha didn't mention that he wants to revive Luna. That is the moment everything went a wrong turn.

It is likely that Luna already asked Vani days before "that day" and her death. The problem is if the three are together "why did she only ask Vani and not Misha?". Maybe, Luna and Vani have a shady secret that they don't share with Misha as he's too young. However, if the secret has something to do with Luna, Vani won't even mention something relating to it to Misha, I mean the kid knows exactly the trigger of self-hypnotism. Maybe Luna is not the one who asked Vani. I believe that someone already asked Vani before he entered the church to train as a chasseur. But "who" asked Vani is not my problem today it is "when".

So in short, I suppose that the memory Vani is protecting is something that only he knows at the moment, and it did not happen recently but goes way back in his early childhood. As retracexcviii pointed out, it looks like that the self-hypnotism technique Vani used is the same as what the chasseurs. So, Vani knows this technique way back before he became a lab rat.

Continuing on...

Don't judge but I wasted a considerable amount of time digging information about Vani's childhood (yup, I don't have a life outside). And I found nothing concrete that could help, however, as I said, I could make something out of what we have. So here we go.

In Vani's delirium due to high fever he finally opens up and we had a peak of his life before everything. There's nothing much here, just a simple story, but let's overanalyze this:

a. In the era they’re living in, vampires are not allowed to attack humans. People are even treating them as folklore or old people's tall tales. Thus, random vampire attacks are seldom. The attacks that we heard are from the cursed ones (e.g., Amelia and Thomas) or harboring resentment (I think this is why the vampires attacked Astolfo’s family). Well, the attack on Vani and co. may be a special case. Vani mentioned that chasseurs are hunting "dangerous" types of vampires that are rampaging in the human world. So, there may be a miscreant group of vampires somewhere that hates peace or being suppressed by humans. Right, Misha's mother was also killed by a vampire.

b. When Misha asked what's a band of traveling players then Luna answered that it's a bit like a circus. Vani answered that "It was nothing like...that formal". He hesitated for a moment, meaning, he wanted to say something different first, but he changed his mind. Or maybe he just can't find the right word. I know that someone already mentioned this, but did you know that according to Wikipedia "Charlatan is a seller of medicines who might advertise his presence with music and an outdoor stage show." Now that's another thing to add to Vani and Naenia's parallel.

c. Vani thinks that his father doesn't like it there very much. So, why stay even if his wife is dead? Even if Vani's father could not go back to his family, he could still opt to cut ties with the band and settle down somewhere. He's a doctor, it's not like they would be helpless if they leave. Travelling is not a safe choice if you think about it. Perhaps, he stayed in the memory of his wife? Or are there other reasons?

d. This guy didn't just come to Altus ones before. "No matter when I visit" he already visited during different periods. The times he possibly could go in Altus is before his father's death and after Luna's death. Maybe Luna's going in secretly for whatever reason. I just want to drop it here because it's interesting to take note of.

e. I'm not sure if I should include this since it may be Luna's influence, but Vani knows way too much about vampires and also the babel incident. Also, Ruthven's statement just gives me a weird feeling. Does it mean "You an average human are running around doing ridiculous things, so tell me about 'yourself', kin of the blue moon vampire"? Or "without the context of being the kin of the blue moon vampire, tell about yourself?" I think it is the latter meaning.

There's nothing important here that proves Vani's childhood should be kept as a secret. But this will do for now, I just want to establish that Vani is more than just kin to the Blue Moon Vampire. His childhood, his father, family, and that traveling players are also suspicious. (Why the hell do I find everyone in this series suspicious?!? oh, except Amelia and Riche).

4. Luna bit Vani the day she died. I can't come up with anything that happened "that day". Did Luna has gone wild? Did someone attack them? Did Vani and Misha lose their mind as an effect of that weird doctor's experiment? There's really nothing but I think that whatever happened "that day" led to Luna's leaving no choice but to drink Vani's blood, or to make Vani her kin. There has no explicit explanation of how you make one your kin, but I'm sure drinking blood is included in the process. They would only gain a mark if they were bitten.

I'm actually not done yet. I still have plenty to say, but this should end here now. This is already too long for me to handle. Does this make sense? Or is it confusing? Don't hesitate to correct me if I'm wrong or tell me whatever you want to say.

So, if what Vani is saying is true, why do you think he killed Luna?

See ya' later folks!

Note: I wrote this to indulge my over-thinking self. This is just a random theory, thoughts, assumptions, and/or head-canons. Thank you for taking the time to read and understanding if I made any mistakes or post whatever it is you don’t agree on.

[that-wizard-oki]

theres something that morganthe said that's always confused me. In the final fight against her: "Face me in all my forms and despair." Why does she have other forms of Balance, Ice, and Storm? Is there an in-lore or headcanon reason or is it just... something the devs picked just to make the fight more of a challenge worthy of being arc 2's ending?

I don’t believe there a confirmed canon explanation for this, though (to absolutely no ones surprise) I do have a very good guess to what these multiple forms might be!

To start let’s take a quick look at the forms themselves

First you have Ice, depicted in a deep blue and star patterns, then Balance, which is mainly void of any color or pattern, Death in Grey and lunar symbols, an finally Storm is purple and clad with solar pattern. 

Which yea, at first glance- nothing particularly unusual stands out about this. Save for Balance, each “version” of Morganthe here is colored in accordance to their respective schools within the game, and... wait a minute though. Doesn’t this seem a little... familiar? 

Oh yea, now I remember-

Y’all, Morganthe’s Memories share the exact same color scheme as those “forms” we see in the Shadow Palace. This, in my opinion, can not just be some wild coincidence and definitely has place within the game’s Lore about Morganthe herself. 

If you’ve kept up with my theories (which if your reading this i assume you have lol), you know I’m very sold on the idea that Morganthe was put through the conversion table process, and was infused with shadow magic so that she could be puppetted and controlled by the one connected to the Shadows core- Old Cob himself. We’ve seen the dialogue that’s stated this a few times, so i won’t get into that here- however, that still begs a interesting question- HOW exactly does the “conversion” process work, especially for Morganthe?

I think it would be so fitting if Spider was actually able to alter/tamper Morganthe’s own memories to how he wanted her to act as Shadow Queen. He talks about how “reluctant” she was to continue working with the Arachna once she figured out they wanted to use her knowledge and ability with Shadow as a weapon. THIS was bad for Spider/The Arachna, because ultimately his plan was to use an outside force so great and terrible (shadow queen Morganthe) that it would eventually lead someone (the wizard) who he could more easily trick into freeing him and then beginning the events of Arc 3 since Morganthe ended up figuring out what his true intensions were. 

So instead of emotionally manipulating her into doing what he wanted (like how he was able to do with the wizard), the only option left was to control her more literally- aka, the conversion tables.

However, I think Morganthe was an especially different case from how we see the Mantises and other Arachna being infused. We See Old Cob simply unweave the shadow tacked onto them with the use of crystals if I’m not mistaken. With Morganthe though, this girl is a fucking wizard prodigy who re-discovered the inner workings of Shadow Magic. I Would imagine that Cob probably had to take a more desperate approach to making sure he had her under his thumb to get what he wanted. 

And, as we know, Shadow magic deals a lot with memories. I think that Spider was able to tamper with Morganthe most formative memories, cut out the parts that grounded her in reality (like her Memory in Avalon of wanting to resist what her brother was doing, and her displeasure over hurting people), and stitch in the parts that influenced rage and power (such as the hurt she felt over Ambrose banishing her) in order to create what we know as the Shadow Queen. 

So in sum, the “forms” we see in the Shadow Palace are Morganthe’s Memories, though they are the ones altered by Spider- that’s why they appear as the Shadow Queen does because he made them into his image. The things we see in Radiance Reborn could very well be the “true” memories, the untampered scraps that Spider had tossed because they were of no use to him.

Now, as for the Balance “version” we see- I think that’s a Forth memory in the progress of being formed. The Blue, Violet and Grey versions we see are obviously Morganthe memories (tampered or not), and they all stand ground in in what are definitely the most prominent events in Morganthe life- all up UNTIL she actually becomes Shadow Queen.

Despite being controlled by Spider, her own shadow still exists within her, and she can still create these physical forms out of her memories. I think that Balance one- the one devoid of any particular color or pattern- would eventually become the memory that signified her time as Shadow Queen, like the three memories we’ve seen before. 

The reason it might be depicted as balance is because the Memory has yet to concrete itself in something that represents the time that it symbolizes- the Blue Memory being Ice makes sense because Ice often symbolizes strength and foundation- The memory of Avalon is obviously set during Morganthe’s very early youth, where she was very impressionable. It could also attribute to her feelings of grief and loss- she might have wanted to remain “frozen” in a time before Malory's death.

Violet being Storm makes sense- Morganthe being banished, her wand/deck being taken from her, accidentally hurting her classmates, ending up homeless/an eventual pirate, and generally being scared of her powers than NO ONE seems to know hwo to help her control, probably leaves her with an extreme sense of anxiety and sadness, such easily represented by the power and energy of Storm Magic.

And then you have Grey, the memory that kicks off all the unspeakable stuff occurring for Morganthe in Khrysalis, and is obviously reprehensive of death magic. For me, I think this time, especially once she starts to refuse the Shadow Magi, is perhaps Morganthes lowest point. All she really wanted was to learn how to control astral magic, “find her true self”, and return home and prove she wasn’t some monster. But here she is, having been groomed and tricked by the Magi into re-discovering lost knowledge and wanting her to be their grand weapon in a war she wants no part in. Needles to say, this memory being rooted in Death fits. 

So then, what would the fourth forming memory be? For me, I think Fire. The most uncontrollable element, and one obviously linked with rage and destruction, I think fits the time in Morganthe’s life were she was the Shadow Queen- even if Spider was partly controlling her the entire time, it was still her. (Also, as shadow queen she’s clad in a deep, scarlet red color with her usual black robes... just sayn’ lol)

Speaking of, I actually wanted this memory to be a focal point if Morganthe ever gets a redemption arc. While I think she could more easily accept thosr first three memories/shadows as a part of herself, i’d expect her to actually repulse the idea that this... “Scarlet” memory/shadow belongs with her. The biggest reason for this is that, if she “accepts” this part of her life, she’ll ultimately have to remain with the reality of what was done to her, the Spider had control of her, that she DID hurt and kill so many people... that’s scary, and I think could speak to a lot of trauma victims in the same what Arc 3 speaks so clearly to those with broken or divorces families.

Anywho, i’m really starting to ramble here, but TL;DR: Morganthe’s different forms at the end of Arc 2 could very well be related to her memories we see in Radiance Reborn, and also allude to the idea that Old Cob, when Morganthe went through the conversion table process, may have tampered with those initial Memories/Shadows, and created memories that would help fuel Morganthe’s power as shadow queen. 

And yea, It’s very possible the devs simply picked Ice, Storm, Death, and Balance for game play purposes, and it doesn’t have anything to do with anything, but! What’s in the fun in that y’know? I think this, or something akin to it, is a lot more intriguing and gives a lot more depth to Morganthe’s character, as well as the story for Arc 2 :D

[clockworkouroboros]

I’m in a The Amazing Devil Discord server and have been going wild with crazy insane theories about just about everything, drawing connections that probably don’t actually exist, and generally losing my mind over both Love Run and The Horror and the Wild. That being said, I do have a theory about THatW that, if it’s not true, at least merits me a tinfoil hat, I think. Just be warned, this post will be long, and yes, I will include receipts.

So here’s this theory and Joey, if you read this, just know that I’m impressed either at how much thought was put into this, or the sheer number of coincidences that make this work if it wasn’t planned. It’s turned me into a conspiracy theorist for the past four days or so? And it’s severely affected the amount of sleep I’ve been getting.

My basic theory here is that Joey and Madeleine aren’t singing as themselves throughout this album, they’re playing characters, and those characters are old gods. Joey is the Wild, Madeleine is Time. (Alternatively, she’s Horror, fitting with the album title, but as she’s never explicitly referred to as such, I’m not insisting on that point.)

Now, where am I getting this silly idea from? None other than the title track, of course, in which Joey sings, “witness me, old man, I am the Wild, and Madeleine sings, “And I am Time itself.” And yes, they are both capitalized like that in the lyrics.

So they explicitly refer to themselves as such. But Emily, you might be saying (or not, depending on how much you care), that’s one song! This is hardly an album’s worth of proof! Sure, they might be gods in this song, but what about the other eight? To which I say, hoo boy, I’m just getting started.

Before I continue, I’d like to add something about how their characters are depicted throughout the album: Joey is more cheerful, Madeleine is not. (see: Wild Blue Yonder, Marbles, Battle Cries.) Joey is whimsical, Madeleine is practical. (See Battle Cries especially, but you can also see this in Wild Blue Yonder.) Madeleine is referred to multiple times as being stronger than Joey, and appears to assume a more protective role over Joey’s childlike. This fits in with my theory, by the way, in a roundabout sort of way that involves some squinting. Joey is the Wild, which is...well, wild. Think of little kids: cheerful, whimsical, in need of protection. Madeleine is Time. She knows what has been, what is, and what will be. Of course she’s going to be more mature, practical, and pessimistic.

And why is this important? Well, it’s kind of how I’m tying together a lot of the rest of the album. (Not all of it; Farewell Wanderlust is a notable outlier in many ways, and some of my connections are tenuous at best, but we’re going to ignore that and pretend it’s all rock-solid. Rockrose-solid. I’m sorry, I’m very tired.) I’m ignoring The Rockrose and the Thistle a little bit in this post, not because I dislike it (it’s gorgeous), but because it’s stubbornly eluding my attempts to tie it into anything other than Elsa’s Song, which isn’t even part of this album.

The vast majority of what you need to know about these two characters is in The Horror and the Wild (the song), so I’m gonna copy/paste some lyrics, and go through them. (Actually, the copy/pasting is nonexistent, these lyrics are imprinted on my brain at this point. That being said, if there are errors, lmk and I will edit the post and fix them!)

So we’ve got Madeleine starting, singing about Joey, with “You were raised by wolves and voices, every night I hear them howling deep beneath your bed, they said it all comes down to you.” Aside from the fact that I have no clue why “it all” comes down to Joey, or anything with that last bit, maybe a few more late nights with a tinfoil hat will do the trick. That being said, the first line of the song references childhood specifically in relation to Joey. Notice also how wolves are referenced in Wild Blue Yonder (“we don’t know what’s out there/could be wolves”) and That Unwanted Animal (“‘What’s the time, Mr. Wolf,’ but you, you’re blind, you bleat, you bear your claws”). The whole “howling” thing and “deep beneath your bed” both pop up in That Unwanted Animal, too: “and on the wind it howls,” for one. And for the other, there’s “you [presumably Joey] make the bed up silent on the floor so no one hears us,” later followed later in the song by “and the door below us splinters, and the creature creeps inside.”

Following this, Joey sings about Madeleine: “you’re the daughter of silent watching stones, you watch the stars hurl all their fundaments, in wonderment at you and yours, forever asking more.” First of all, I’m gonna say that this is Joey’s point of view; later on, Madeleine will refute the daughter thing (“I’m not a drunkard, a daughter, a preacher”.) Anyway, “silent watching stones” could reference Wild Blue Yonder: “every stone you threw, I stood on to better see the view.” The view being the stars hurling all their fundaments?

(Incidentally, I knew vaguely what “fundament” meant, but I looked it up to make sure I had it right, and learned that, among its other meanings, “fundament” can mean “butt.” But I don’t think that’s what Joey had in mind with this. I just think y’all should appreciate it.)

Anyway, we’ve also got in Battle Cries, “With you I could summon the gods and the stars, make them dance out the plays that we wrote from the heart, and we’d laugh at the ghosts of our fears,” with Madeleine singing, “Come on, love, please don’t start, sing your notes play your part,” and then the part that gets me every time: M: “we were gods,” J: “we were kids.” Which is a whole other can of worms involving their personalities, which I’ve already briefly outlined. My point is the whole “gods and the stars” bit.

I could (and have, on Discord) done a full, in-depth analysis of this track, and I don’t want to go all over it again, but “I promise you, they’ll sing of every Time you passed your fingers through my hair and called me child, witness me, old man, I am the Wild” has both Time and Wild as proper nouns in the lyrics, plus reinforces Time’s view of the Wild as a child. No clue who the old man is, though.

In verse two, Madeleine sings, “you [Joey] are the son of every dressing-up box, and I am Time itself, I slow and let you play, I steal the hours, and turn the night into day.” Again, this reinforces Joey’s childlike aspects (which will later be hinted at in That Unwanted Animal, with the “god-child,” who’s clearly Joey), but also shows, as in the refrain, the fact that Time has a sense of protectiveness over the Wild, at least sometimes.

That being said, although I’ve obviously referenced other songs, I still have mostly focused on the title track. So. I’m going to go through some of the other songs real quick.

The songs on the album (again, excepting Rockrose, because my attempts to tie it in have been frustrating and not gone anywhere, Mr. Batey please explain) can be grouped into categories: songs outright referencing gods (THatW, Farewell Wanderlust, That Unwanted Animal, Battle Cries), songs about their relationship, (arguably all of them, although Welly Boots is a bit confusing), and songs that refuse to allow me to classify them (Rockrose).

I would argue that this entire album is about the relationship of two old gods, but I’m not quite sure what the chronology is of the album, because it seems like it can’t be straightforward. (Farewell Wanderlust, although its placement makes sense in the setup of the album, doesn’t make sense in the chronology of this theory.) Another important note in some way is that every song on the album, with the exception of Farewell Wanderlust, is about being there for someone, or steadfastness in some capacity, while Farewell Wanderlust is about abandonment. It’s an outlier in a lot of ways. (Though not as many ways as frickin Rockrose.)

I have been talking about this at great length (and almost incessantly) on Discord, so unless you want this post to get even longer, I’m going to run by some lyrics real quick to try and show a little bit my thought process.

- “He watches her get dressed as though she’s hurtling through time” (Fair)

- “And she is stronger than he has ever been, he knows” (Fair) versus “Without you, I’m stronger, I’m no longer filled with wonder. How wrong you were” (Wild Blue Yonder, Welly Boots)

- J: “Place your hand in mine” M: “Hold the hand of the god-child, they said, as he falls from the sky” (That Unwanted Animal)

- “I’m the saint of the paint that was left in the pot, I’m your angel ellipsis, your devil of dots” (Farewell Wanderlust)

- “the fluttering of all your wings” (The Horror and the Wild) versus “when you think about him, my wings start to flap” (Farewell Wanderlust)

- “come, devil, come, she sang, call out my name. Let’s take this outside, ‘cos we’re one and the same. Our gods have abandoned us, left us, instead, take up arms, take my hand, let us waltz for the dead” (Farewell Wanderlust)

There are even more lyrics, and I’m going to be completely honest with you, I’ve gone totally insane with all of this, but this post is way too long already, so just let me know if you want any clarification or something.

Tldr: The Amazing Devil’s album The Horror and the Wild is about two old gods, one being Time, and the other being the Wild, or the god-child. The album is primarily about their relationship and steadfastness they show each other, even in tumultuous circumstances.

Now go excuse me while I attempt to take off this tinfoil hat that appears to be stuck on my head.

[hoothalcyon]

My Current Bloodmoon Huntress Theories

hey! 

by now we’ve probably all seen the announcement for the new tdp graphic novel! i’m super excited for it!!

it’s targeting me in more ways than one, so I thought i’d make a theory post about my initial reactions/theories.

these theories will mostly stem from the fact that i get MAJOR bloodborne vibes from the whole premise of the book, therefore, they’ll go hand in hand with things from the game. a fun combo of two things i love!

I’ll cautiously CW this for: aracnophobia and weird pregnancy stuff.

theory #1: through the moon and bloodmoon huntress are connected

in through the moon, rayla dives into the moon nexus’ lake, which is a portal to the in between of life and death. this has been confirmed to be a reference to moonside lake from bloodborne, which is a large body of water outside of byrgenwerth college that, upon entering, holds rom the vacuous spider. 

rom is a great one who is shielding the hunter (the character you play as) from the true horrors of the world. upon killing rom, the moon turns red and the player gains more ‘insight’ which enables them to see more enemies and other previously unseen features around them. 

so, it’s a pretty interesting coincidence that TTM and BH both deal with events that, in BB, happen pretty closely together. i just woke up so i don’t know where I’m going with this, but do with it what you will!

theory #2: gaining insight

the events of the blood moon that will be covered in BH are implied to be intense, and as previously stated, the red moon in BB occurs once you gain more ‘insight’. 

what if, and this might be a little angsty, the blood moon in BH is used as a means of teaching rayla more about her future as an assassin and what she can prepare for. depending on how young she is, I think maybe the chaos around her and the silvergrove could be spun as a teaching opportunity. it’s a rebirth, a new era--a time where she also crosses the line between elf and moonshadow assassin. 

due to the events of the blood moon, rayla will be more adept at understanding and processing the horrors of the world, thus enabling her to be a better assassin. 

moonshadows: if it can be a learning opportunity, we’ll use it ;)

theory #3: the line between man and beast is blurred

above is a picture of a note that can be found in byrgenwerth.

before anyone says anything, no, i’m not saying there’ll be any weird babies being born!!! i’m referring to the first line 😂

it’s been widely headcannoned throughout the fandom that moonshadow elves turn abrasive/chaotic under a blood moon, and ‘blood moon’ reminded me of this tidbit, so I’m bringing it forward.

theory #4: ghosted elves’ revenge

this one just popped into my head unexpectedly.

in zelda: breath of the wild, a blood moon initiates the re-spawning of previously defeated monsters. 

so, what if for moonshadows, the blood moon evokes a re-spawning of the vengeful spirits of elves who have been ghosted--alive or not?

they’re spiteful and angry, both at themselves and at their narrow minded society that locked them out, maybe without a good, truthful reason. and so on each blood moon, they use some sort of magic (maybe collaborating with earthblood elves?) to cause harm to the elves they used to commune with. this creates an onslaught of enemies that moonshadows (probably mostly assassins) have to fend off in an angsty, hard fought battle. 

that’s all I have for now! i hope you enjoyed this post and of course if you have any additional thoughts please feel free to add them on!

[tswiftisgay]

hello! so there a lot of haylor shippers that are going around saying that exile, cardigan, the 1, illicit affairs, and a bunch of other songs on folklore are about harry styles. they're also saying that songs on fine line are about taylor. what do you think?

hello! 🤗

1) There is not one ounce of me that believes that Taylor and Harry really dated. To be clear, I do believe Harry has dated women he has been out and about with. I even think Taylor has probably dated some of the men she has been publicly paired with! So this isn’t based on a broad assumption of sexuality. This is based entirely in the facts and circumstances of that fateful time. They overplayed the whole thing with pap shots literally every single day for nearly two months. Harry never looked happy to be around her, and he never confirmed they were dating properly! Plus, the timing with the release of the Taylor and 1D albums was just too perfect. They helped each other solidify audiences across the oceans and dispel (what I obviously believe to be incredibly true) gay rumors. My haylor timeline spells a lot of that out.

2) I do not believe either of them wrote songs about each other for their most recent albums. Even if they did date, they dated so damn long ago and for such a short time! Their schedules have been incredibly incompatible in the time since then so any wild haylor conspiracies just don’t make sense logistically. (One of my friends actually mapped their schedules out so I really mean that.)) Plus they have been tied to a lot of other people with a lot better evidence. 

The last nail in the coffin is that Taylor really hurt Harry’s reputation for a while with her accusations of being a womanizer, unfaithful, etc. and Harry upset her reputation when he started making his incredibly unsubtle gay comments. I do *not* see why they would have willingly done this to each other if they were secretly together.

In case you forgot, Taylor changed her entire promotional approach to 1989 which had been shaped around Harry with pointed jokes about the inspiration for Style and a huge Rolling Stone article with ��insider” and “spokesperson” *cough* TREE *cough* information about their relationship. On October 30 2014, Harry and Liam were asked to describe their perfect person to date. Liam jokingly said “female,” to which Harry said, “not that important.”  He also said “don’t knock it till you try it” about having sex with a man and made a variety of other gay/dick comments. To this day I can’t understand why people still think that man is straight! Regardless, Taylor stopped pushing the Harry narrative so hard and began using more generic descriptions about her inspiration for Style after that--even as soon as the next day in an interview with Ryan Seacrest! Check out this fun little analysis from @all-my-possessions here for more.** Read the prior Rolling Stones cover article here for comparison. 

3) Taylor and Harry have previously written about each other, but not in the lovesick way the media would have you think. The song Perfect by 1D--written by Harry and Louis--has references to Taylor. Out of the Woods is about bearding with Harry in my opinion, which I elaborate on here. I’ve also answered an ask in the past where I shared my opinion that Taylor may take inspiration from Harry’s life since they share a lot of the same burdens, having grown up in the industry and closeted. 

4) This is more controversial, but I think that Harry Styles may be William Bowery. This would account for some of the connections or coincidences found on folklore in a way that is much more believable to me. I believe Taylor and Harry have mended bridges a bit over the years and connected over their shared stories of navigating secret relationships while under the magnifying glass of fame. Writing together and speaking at some length may have been part of the inspiration for the songs. In the same way that a movie with similar themes to a story in your own life can be extremely evocative, Harry’s stories may have been a big source of inspiration.

When asked about Taylor, Harry has repeatedly said she is a great songwriter which is a good response because it’s true and because it sidesteps any drama. To my knowledge, no one has ever been bold enough to ask Taylor the same question. If they did, she might say the same thing. Keeping his name out of the credits makes sense because their long media history would have brought the wrong kind of attention to the artistic masterpiece of folklore. I expand on this a bit more here.

5) I need to acknowledge-- and ask that you also acknowledge--that there are only small coincidences linking Harry to Taylor’s album at all. Even the imagery of the cardigan music video being linked to the Falling music video is a bit tenuous. Music as a lifeline or way of communicating is a common image, as is water as a way of depicting overwhelming emotions. Yes, “thin line” in Exile mirrors Harry’s “fine line,” but those are incredibly common phrases. Our intuition as fans can be amazingly accurate or embarrassingly off. So let’s keep that in mind with any theories. For our sanity’s sake!

**Read more about the changing narratives of the songs on 1989 as told by Taylor herself in this lengthy but amazing analysis also from @all-my-possessions​ 😍 here.

Your message has been sitting in my inbox for a bit. I’m sorry I didn’t reply sooner. The world is on fire and so is my will to live. JK I’m okay. Not great. But okay. Hope you are okay, too <3 

[aspiestvmusings]

ZEP 109 ANALYSIS

SOME THOUGHTS on 

ZOEY’S EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST episode 1x09: 

SPOILERS, BELOW: 

There is a lot that I don’t understand 100% about what the show is trying to do... with Max “pushing* Zoey for answers to his confession of love” & his reaction to her answer about whether he should take the job offer...or even why they keep saying there’s a deep bond between Z & S, when all they’ve established is that they talked to each other about losing their dads & are physically attracted to each other. Or even why Zoey says that they kissed, when in reality he kissed her. Or Simon’s behaviour...which I don’t think is ONLY just about not dealing with his grief...and all that. 

 * I don’t see it as him pushing her or demanding answers or anything like that. But this is the sense many get, hence I used this word 

I hear the showrunner & the characters talk about a “love triangle”, yet I don’t see one (just confused, grieving people). I hear them talk about a deep emotional bond between Z&S, and yet I don’t see it on screen. I see a pretty shallow connection due to their dads - “grief bond” with no actual deeper connection. And though I personally don’t “feel” that they actually feel attraction to the other, I’m willing to admit that perhaps each truly thinks they do...and actually find the other attractive. But nonetheless the story, to me, has clearly been told in a way that showcases the differences of the two men in her life. 

One thing that kinda supports my theories is that while we & Zoey have heard Max sing her actual “love songs” (revealing that the connection they have is love, friendship, romance), then Simon’s “heart songs” have been mostly related to his grief (”Should I stay or should I go” is kinda an exception here). Meaning their connection is based on that, and his grief is what she’s supposed to help him with. All S’s songs have been about his inability to deal with the loss of his dad, and the problems in his life & relationship that have come from this. Which is why I’m still a bit confused why the show is calling it a love triangle, when it doesn’t really seem to be. 

Since they all sing their innermost thoughts, and the songs are related to the feelings they have, and connected to the “problem” Zoey is supposed to help them with, then for Simon that seems to be “everything grief related” (he’s still not dealing with the loss, and it affected his relationship with Jessica..etc)...and I don’t understand why Zoey isn’t more actively helping him with that...instead focusing on “do I possibly have romantic feelings for the man?”, when she & Mo established that if she doesn’t help the person who she hears sing with their problem... that’s not good. I think THIS is the thing that has “confused” me. (but we all know network shows love their love triangles and such drama, so they have to play it like that..). So I really hope that in the coming eps we will see Z. help S. deal with his grief (she has her family, Mo & Max...who help her, but S. doesn’t seem to have any support system...) and “fix him”.

Though there was not much Max or Z/M in this episode, there were a few scenes. The elevator scene & the “what do you think I should do?” scene. And we could see Max is practicing social distancing from Zoey. Because no matter how much he cares about her, and proved he’s a good friend by checking up on her & giving her great advice regarding her dad in last weeks episode, he really was hurt by her. 

Also...one way he can minimize Zoey “reading his mind” is by removing himself from the same room. And since he doesn’t consider her knowing his secret thoughts fair if he can’t hear/know hers, then one effective way to prevent that from happening is not being around her. Maybe he doesn’t want her to hear that despite acting “hurt” he can’t “hate” her. Maybe he doesn’t want her to hear him sing about being hearbroken. Maybe.... In short: minimizing their contact might be related to something as simple as just trying to avoid her knowing his secret feelings... (the outer expressions & inner thoughts not matching)

As to Max saying that she didn’t give him the right answer might’ve been about something else. And though we saw his facial expression change as she was saying that “The Zoey who sang a love song to him will miss sitting across him at the office, but would never stop him going after what he wants”, I think his answer might’ve been about her asking “Was this the right answer?” Cause that seemed to be the thing that made him make his choice. 

Because that implies she was not being 100% honest with him, and instead giving him the answer she thought he wanted to hear. (we saw her do the same with Simon. First asking for his thoughts on the kiss, before revealing her thoughts...so she could base her choise on the other persons choice) It kinda does imply that she still doesnt know how she feels, and isn’t doing what she herself wants. Instead trying to guess what he think she wants her to say. Which is not what Max wants her to do. He wants her to be sure of her choice. Make her own choices. (and unlike many viewers seem to think... I don’t think he’s actually pressuring  her, or demanding a love confession as a response to his own. I see it as him listing the “facts” (options), and asking her for her take on it all.

I kinda think he made his decision because she asked “was this the answer you wanted?” more than anything else. Because this tells him that she doesn’t know what she wants. Though her answer “as the Zoey who sang that she is his...romantically” being so “not personal” might’ve also played a part.   And there’s another plot in this episode that actually gives us a hint what the whole “Max promoted to 6th floor” thing is about. 

                     < Edited for clarity: As said, I think her adding “was that the answer you wanted to hear” sealed the deal. But... if we look at what Ava told him on the 6th floor on that Saturday, then he was also looking for a different answer in general. An honest answer, and that she’s had some clarity about her feelings (and them) and all that. And also... some indication of a possible future possibility of them. 

But... she have him no such answer (or hope), she included her answers as her boss, and friend, but left out the answer as “a romantic possibility”. (cause based on those 1x08 songs all Max knows is that she has feelings for 2 men & he’s one of the possibilities...yet she’s not showing any indication that she’s leaning towards the possibility of them M/Z.) And I think the order of her answer matters, too. She first replies as his boss, then his friend (and completely leaving out the third pole...which they both know based on the heart song is a role she has, because the songs reveal the persons secret inner feelings). And they’ve been friends for so long, but she’s been his boss for just a short time. So to prioritize that role over friends...gotta hurt, too. And in general her reply was centered around work and work hours - she’ll miss sitting across from him in the office, not that she’ll miss their friends movie nights...

So he’s gotta make a move... instead of just waiting for something that’s never gonna happen.  Cause we might know/see more, but all he knows is the little she’s shared with him. So to his knowledge the heart song is the ONLY indication she’s even considering “them”. He is a romantic at heart, and he “put himself out there”, yet she’s not given him any real answers (all the things she said in 1x07 that he then understood as “she just needs time because of her dad thing, and everything else” and accepted as we saw based on the 1x07 end elevator scene, and was willing to wait and give her space, became “untruths” in his eyes in next episode. So even if she spoke the truth then, he doesn’t believe those words anymore, so for him she has no clarity on the whole thing, and she’s not given him any “hope” or “answers”.)  Edited for clarity />

Unless my other hunch is correct... That Ava is on a spy mission, and the whole recruiting thing is a plan related to the competition for a piece of code between 4th Floor & 6th Floor that is happening in the next episode.  Cause there are just to many coincidences: she approaches him on a day when the 4th Floor boss is gone (on a tech conference...which she might know because of the glitch in the watch software that shared everyones calendar events with everyone else...). And it was just luck that this followed an even where Max showed that he’s good at thinking on his feet (he actually did save the pitch by joining Zoey)  And we learned his past good work has also been noticed: the escape room.  This job offer also happens just before the company is about to get an important “job”. Too many coincidences. 

And maybe Zoey/we are all wrong, and Joan & Leif both taking that same day off doesn’t mean they’re together, but that Leif is working on another side-project. We’ve seen his sketchy moves with Joan. We know he wanted the job Zoey got. So how do you “hurt” your competitor? You tear her team apart. It could be that Leif is behind this transfer. Cause last episode also told us that everyone in the office are actually very aware of what’s going on between Max & Zoey (interrupting them, hearing their talks & noticing that they’re not hanging out as much lately...which even Simon noticed. So he might’ve overheard them OR he saw S/Z kiss.). So the timing was also good cause IF there would be truth in this then Leif would know the best frends are going through a rough patch, so it was worth to take the gamble (he maybe couldn’t be 100% sure Max wold take the offer, but he might’ve been quite certain)

So much for wild theories.... (This one is topped only by Simon being behind the transfer...to eliminate his competition... when it comes to Zoey. Which I don’t think is true, but oh....what drama it would allow to be written...where he’s not aware that she can hear his secret thoughts & hence will find out. I would want this to be true ONLY for that scene) And though it’s 95% certain that both J & L “missing from the office” at the same day/time is no coincidence (read: they were together...which only makes me want to know more...is Leif playing her because he knows she wrote the peer review or ...not), and everything implies that Joan could not just “end it”, I sometimes enjoy coming up with wild/fun theories...

One thing that maybe supports this theory of mine is the actors (Skyler Astin, who playes Max) comment that he started to call the 6th floor DRK POINT... which if we follow the SPRQ POINT logic gives us “DARK POINT” instead of “SPARK POINT”...meaning there is something sketchy going on. 

And obviously he’s not gonna stay on the 6th floor, so something has to happen for him to return/be returned. Either it’s a scham, or someone (Joan, The Team, Zoey) “fight for him” & get him to return to the 4th Floor.  

Also..the whole Max/Aca convo in the dark 6th floor parallels his “romantic storyline with Zoey”: 

Max: I hadn’t really planned on making a move. Things are pretty fine for me on the 4th Floor.

Ava: Are they? Or are you stuck treading water? Waiting for something to happen that maybe never will? 

Again...if we apply these words to the M/Z situation, then it fits, too. He’s “fine” with how things are going with them. And then the scary boss lady makes him question if he really is OK with it. Or is he stuck...waiting for something to happen between them... (for Z. to admit her feelings..etc) ...that may never happen... and as a romantic at heart... he needs to know if there’s a future possibility...

The whole 1x09 Z & S plot was a shortened version of what’s been happening between Z & M in several past episodes. Zoey was reacting to Simon not giving her a clear answer. It actually tells us a lot about Z&M, and parallels that story. 

Z: We have a chemistry & a bond that is undeniable. I guess I was hoping that after the kiss you’d have some clarity about all of it.  Clarity you still don’t have, and maybe never will. So... I have to make a change instead of just sitting around and waiting & hoping for something to happen. So this is me saying to you..officially... I can’t, and I won’t do this anymore. 

If we apply this to the other duo, then the parallrels are obvious. What Zoey was feeling (about Simon’s answers) is exactly what/how Max has been feeling  about her answers to him. And the whole quote/dialogue by Zoey summarizes the other pairings story perfectly: Instead of clear answers Max has gotten vague half-truths from Zoey. If we change a few words/details (”after the kiss” = “after the flash-mob”, then this fits them, too). 

And just like Zoey claims she can’t just wait for Simon to have clarity (which he can’t cause he’s not letting himself go through the stages of grief propely..etc) about his feelings,  while hoping something to happen, same applies to Max decision in this episode. His talk with the 6th floor boss tells us that this could’ve been a speech given from Max to Zoey. Cause this is exactly what he’s done by taking the job offer. He can’t just sit around waiting for her to catch up/for something to happen. This is him saying “no mo’” 

Both for his & her’s sake. Cause he really needs her to be true to her words, and be 100% honest with him. Tell him how she feels. And he really does “deserve” an answer, not sort-of-answers (avoiding giving him a clear answer...no matter what it is). And she needs to make up her mind on her own, and do what she wants, not what she thinks she should do in his opinion. He wants her to choose on her own...without telling her what she has to do. He has shown her his cards (love confession via flash mob, saying that he’d choose love over lust...but she needs to make her own choice), and now it’s her turn. 

This show is known for doing parallel stories. The work related story paralllels the personal storyline of the episode. In 1x08 there was a “glitch” in the watch program & a “glitch” in Zoey’s powers. And trying to fix them led to new issues arising. In 1x08 we heard about Tobin & Leifs SPELLaversary tradition..and in the end Leif sang "I put a SPELL on you” to Joan. And so on... 

This all leads me to a theory I've had about a coming song/dance number, and this weeks episode told me what the song has to be...IMO. To “solve” all this Zoey has to do a surprise flash-mob performance for Max. To Christina Aguilera’s “What a girl wants”, because if I look at the story so far, then those lyrics summarize the situation (whole s1 arc) almost perfectly. And since there have been kind-of spoilery rumours about another “heart song with a twist” happening later in S1, it matches. Just like the 1x06 flash-mob was real., so will be this one. And this time its not Zoey thinking that Max is just singing her his heart-song (it’s not real), now Max will think that Zoey’s “glitching” again... until he realizes that its real. 

As for Simon... I hope the show is not gonna go with the message: “Since he didn’t mean to do it then that makes it ok that he hurt his fiancee, and his grief-buddy" Even IF it really was all unintentional & he’s behaviour is all due to grief, that doesn’t make it OK to go to her house late at night without telling your life partner, it doesn’t make it OK to kiss her (when you’re still engaged)  just because she gave you signals that she’s into you... Nope... he can’t take that back. And him being a “good guy, who is just a mess” doesn’t make it  OK. 

But... I am not so sure Simon’s not sketchy. I mean... he & Jessica clearly had problems before he ever got to SPRQ POINT. She seemed to want to help him, but didn’t really get him. He didn’t really confide in her, and really let her in on his feelings. Also... Jessica’s jealousy (the whole Zoey) thing could very well have roots somewhere... so perhaps this isn’t the first time he’s pursued other women, while being in a relationship? Of course it’s possible Jessica simply is/was jealous by nature, but maybe she has a reason/experience from past?  

As for S & Z: their whole connection in built on a lie. He thinks she actually gets him, when that’s not true - she knows about his “grief” only thanks to her superpower. And you can’t really build a lasting relationship on “lies”... even if there is a connection (shared grief experience) that came AFTER the initial lie. Just think about when/if Simon finds out how/why it all began... that’s not gonna go as well as Max finding out about the games she played with him (that unnecessarily hurt Autumn in the end)...

So there are two big things they can play with in the future that will help create the big drama they love - S. finding out that it all started because of Z’s superpower (she cheated in the game) and not because she could emotionally connect on her own. And in a nearer future Max finding out about the 1x08 Z/S kiss. Which has to come from her, directly, if she plans to stay true to her promise to be completely honest with him. And third could be S. finding out about the powers. (part of me thinks it should happen, part of me thinks it shouldn’t happen in S1)

Either way... we know that there are going to be scenes/moments (heart songs) from/with both of the men. Whether these are “love songs” or “heartbreak songs” or “angry songs” or... something other... we don’t know for sure..yet. 

But we do know that there are ONLY THREE EPISODES left of this  season. 1x10 on April 19th, 1x11 on April 26th & 1x12 Finale on May 3rd. And the finale brings us a very special “heart song” from/with one of the two men. So there are clear sings that by/in the S1 finale the show will “commit” to one of the ships. And since we have small bits & pieces about the coming eps & finale, we can put together a part of the puzzle already. And though it seems that the Finale will sadly be when Zoey says goodbye to her dad, there seems to be lot more going on. Work stuff/Team song, guest appearances by some past characters, Zoey revealing her truths and... more....

THE END 

[idkthisisjustforfanfic]

two years too late, chapter s e v e n

wc:  6.5k

Your mother had raised a woman of class. Which is why, even though you didn’t really want to, you climbed into the leather backseat that night, greeting Roger with a smile. You had work, it was late. Too soon for a sleepover, you thought. You weren’t going to give it up that easy. That didn’t stop the butterflies in your stomach when he kissed you goodbye, his hand on your face as if pulling away would lead to catastrophe. 

The string of green lights above the dark streets of New York seemed to smile down at you, the cold air coming in from the cracked window next to Roger fluttered up your spine. The radio played songs just for you, a text lit up your screen when the car slowed to a stop outside your building.

Harry S (11:21pm): Might sound weird. Going to say it anyway.

Harry S (11:21pm): I can’t wait to kiss you again. 

So maybe that’s why you couldn’t sleep--the desire to kiss him over and over again that had been lying dormant inside for years was suddenly at the surface, and better yet, it wasn’t a fantasy. This wasn’t a day dream in lecture or a fleeting thought when you scrolled past a picture of him on instagram, wondering where he was and how often he thought of you.

Sleep didn’t come until 2am--after tossing and turning and questioning what type of stars had aligned to make this reality. The ceiling seemed to float higher, a constant energy buzzing inside of you until finally, a yawn. Then another, then, suddenly, morning. 

The New York winter seemed less angry, less bitter. The subway was on time and your coffee was hot. Carly was happy to see you, eager to hear all about your holiday at home over lunch, the anger somehow softened. Staff meeting was quick and everyone seemed cheerful. Wednesday bled into Thursday, Thursday into Friday. 

You were feeling generous, still floating from three nights earlier, when Carly asked to have dinner. 

“Tonight?” You clarified, pen between your teeth as you proofread your own story. You didn’t have any plans this evening, if anything, you had laundry to do and you knew Alyssa would want to order out. Fridays were meant for staying in. 

“Mhm,” she nodded. “We could just go somewhere near you. Been a while since we’ve hung out outside of these four walls,” she motioned around the common space with the plush red couches and vending machines that offered an afternoon pick me up. 

Your computer whirred on your lap, powering through the hours you’d spent on this story. Best Youtube Sensations and Why. A smirk crossed over your face when you looked up to find her staring.

“You want me to invite him?”

“I mean,” a quick shrug of her shoulders, a wave of her hand as if to dismiss your silly thought. “I wasn’t implying that--but I certainly wouldn’t be mad.”

You let out a small laugh, adjusting on the couch and brushing hair behind your ear. Light filtered in through the windows, a busy New York afternoon on the streets below. “I’ll text him and see what he’s doing, but, I dunno, he might be busy.”

“Uh, speaking of,” she said suddenly, her eyes on her phone before she twisted it around to show you. A picture, Harry walking behind Denise to the gate, half of your forehead and eyebrow, a hat on your head was the only saving grace.

“Someone just tagged you in this.”

You leaned forward, hands reaching for the phone in desperation. “What?! Me? What do you mean?”

“It’s a tweet,” she pressed something on the screen to make the picture smaller, showing you that it had been attached to 280 characters. 

You grabbed it out of her hands and held the screen close enough to your face to burn your retinas. “Bloody fuck,” you said, pushing the phone back at her before you shut your laptop. You let your face fall into your hands, a groan escaping your lips. 

Fine, Carly knew. It didn’t seem miserable so far. She wasn’t as annoying about it as you’d expected. You could butter Carly up and let her meet the love of her life--that had to hold some sort of weight in terms of whether or not she’d tattle. But everyone else--and Whitney, for that matter--that was another story.

How would it look if one of The Scoop’s employees was snogging Harry Styles at night while another was writing stories about him in the morning? 

“I mean--you can’t really tell if it’s you or not.”

“Right but that’s like the last one and if this keeps happening--”

“The last one?” she shut her own laptop and leaned forward. 

“That one that you said was a random model--that concert,” you waved a hand to jog her memory, motioning towards the kitchen where she’d brought it up, bringing all above board. “Not a model, but thanks.”

“That was you?!”

“Shhh--jesus, you can’t just be loud about it!”

“Sorry,” she whispered back, her face just as excited as before. “That was you?! Why did he have his arms around you?!”

“He was just telling me something,” you said, partially true, a shrug to really sell it. Carly knowing that you grew up down the street was one thing, her knowing that the nature of the relationship had shifted was a whole other arena you didn’t want to get into. 

“Oh my god,” she said, her smile plastered on her cheeks as she let out a big breath. “I totally want to meet him.”

“I know,” you said, words quick and laced with obligation. “Not the main issue right now,” you reminded, pointing back at her cellphone. 

“Right--sorry,” she said, opening it again to pull up the tweet. “Only a few retweets and likes.”

“What do I do?” You asked, moving closer to stare at it again. “How could anyone tell that that’s me?”

“There’s probably other photos, more of your face or something.”

“Fuck.”

“S’fine,” she shrugged, her voice pleading with you to calm down. “Laugh it off. Claim you have a lookalike who apparently lives the life of the rich and famous.”

“And what happens when no one believes that and realizes it’s actually me?!”

She went quiet at that, her eyes scanning the room before falling back on yours. “Dunno. We just have to make sure Whitney doesn’t see it--not that she’s ever on twitter.”

“She’d kill me.”

“She wouldn’t kill you,” she corrected. “She’d have questions. And she’d want answers.”

“I can’t fucking lose my job, Carly. I’m gonna have to not hang out with him.”

“No!” She said, her own emotions getting the best of her before she cleared her throat, fingers running through her blonde hair to gain composure. “I just--don’t think you should suffer that. Reply really casually to it and if Whitney brings it up tell her that you bumped into him. Total coincidence.”

You thought on it for a second--deciding it was more believable than the lookalike theory or even some type of evil twin narrative. You and Harry heading for the same gate, plausible. He lived in London. You flew out of Heathrow. 

It wasn’t totally crazy. 

“That’s not bad.”

“He recognized you from your articles,” Carly shrugged, the creative wheels turning in her head. “That’d make you look really good, actually.”

You reached for your phone, pulling up twitter to assess the damage. Carly was right. Minimal interaction--the person was just a fan of your writing, you guessed. You typed out an easy response and pressed send. 

So maybe you were getting into dangerous territory, one where business and pleasure mixed like oil and water. But Carly’s support felt genuine, like now she was a safe haven at work--her words reassuring and calming. She bounced as you walked, excited for the possibility that--if he was free--Harry might make a guest appearance in your living room to grace her with his presence. Her words, not yours. 

She promised to be cool, to swallow the smile that was glued to her lips and to count to three before she responded to anything he said. Alyssa, who’s patience quickly diminished after the sun went down, was less than thrilled about company, let alone someone who might make high pitched noises and cry tears of joy. 

Harry was briefed on your commute home, casually accepting the invitation for pizza and beer. He laughed at first, seemingly pleased that you’d let Carly in on it. Can I bring up the article she wrote about my hair cut? The one with all the gif reactions? 

The buzzer of your apartment sounded, Carly’s breath hitched in her throat and Alyssa let out a laugh. Out of everyone, she had the least at stake. Her feet were up on the coffee table, eyes on the Knicks game to prove it. 

“He’s a human,” you said to Carly over your shoulder, she smoothed her blouse and bit her lip. 

“Human,” she repeated the word as if that’d make it more true, her head nodding as you walked over to the door. His footsteps were on the other side.

When you opened it, he smiled. A black wool coat hung over his shoulders, more stubble on his chin than the last time you saw him.

“Hi,” he leaned in, as if his lips were about to press into yours. A hand to his chest, a diversion, you offered your cheek instead.

He raised his eyebrows momentarily, realizing his slip was a risky one. “Hi,” he leaned around you, offering a smile in Carly’s direction. She stood behind you, trying her best to mask the excitement in her eyes. It didn’t matter, you’d already warned him.

“Hi,” she smiled. “I’m, uh, it’s nice to meet you. I’m a big fan.”

“Thank you, heard a lot about you--nice to meet you, too,” he shook her hand, shrugging out of his coat while Alyssa bit into pizza, eyes still glued to the game.

“Beer’s in the fridge,” she spoke between chews, her greeting much more casual than it was the first time they’d met. 

“M’starving,” he said, heading over to the kitchen after hung his coat on the hook behind the door. He rubbed his hands together as he peered into the two boxes, surveying his options. 

Carly was still frozen in place, her eyes big and round when you stepped past her. You settled onto the couch, reconciling with the pizza you’d left on a plate. “Good?”

“Good,” she nodded, her voice quiet enough so he wouldn’t hear. “Wild. Unbelievable, really.”

“It’ll wear off,” Alyssa laughed playfully, referencing her own excitement the first few nights. “Has terrible manners, really.”

“Me?” Harry came back around the corner, his brows furrowed together when he bit into the slice in his hand. “What do you mean?”

“Yeah--at least now you let us know when you’re coming over.”

You shot Alyssa a look, one that begged her to change the subject. The goal of the night was to let Carly have her moment, not spill all the details of your relationship with Harry. 

“Hey,” he whined, “just want to spend time with my friends.”

Alyssa laughed and rolled her eyes, pulling her legs back onto the couch. It wasn’t long before Harry’s attention shifted to that of the game, his eyes following the ball on the screen, muttering back and forth to Alyssa whenever a basket was made. 

Carly seemed more than fine with just watching him watch the telly you kept the conversation light and focused on neutral topics. The holidays, the weather, upcoming concerts at the Garden. Harry made nice and told her he loved his time in the band as much as he said he did in interviews. 

Carly asked a few questions about your relationship with Harry--how old were you when you met? Did you ever get to go to One Direction concerts? 

Harry handled it in stride, answering her questions with ease instead of dodging them like you’d somewhat expected. Instead, he admitted that he lost touch, only thinking to reach out six weeks earlier. 

“I, uh, spoke with our friend Jake--I knew Y/N was here but he reminded me, and I hadn’t seen her in a while, so, figured I’d call.”

You tilted your head to the side, he made brief eye contact with you before looking over to Carly. “You spoke with Jake?” It wasn’t a shock, especially seeing as that cover had already been blown.

“Yeah,” he shrugged, a sip of the beer in his hand. “Caught up with him and mentioned the gang. Figured it’d be nice to see you.”

You let the words settle, Alyssa cheering suddenly when the Knicks stole possession of the ball. 

“Yes!” She screamed, arms in the air, beer pointing towards the sky. “Did you see that?” Her words were aimed at Harry. 

He laughed, turning back to you and Carly. “It’s definitely been nice to see you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you rolled your eyes, hoping he’d get the hint: no flirting in front of Carly. 

The night went on like that, casual conversation interrupted by Alyssa’s sports excitement.

All of it was easier than you thought, largely because Carly was calmer than you’d anticipated. You’d been prepared for her to barely be able to mumble out words, but she was doing fine enough with full sentences and proper grammar. A success for all. 

You’d wondered, when Carly first showed up, if she’d need to be kicked out of your apartment, feet dragging on the wood floor when you’d inevitably tell her you were going to sleep. You hated when people overstayed their welcome, and this felt like a situation where goodbyes would be reluctant and bittersweet. 

Luckily, Carly did her fair share of yawning before 10pm, letting you know she’d take the subway a few stops back to her apartment in Chelsea. She hugged Harry and wiggled her eyebrows at you over his shoulder. A sigh escaping your lips when she was out the door.

“Good?” Harry asked, his eyebrows raised while Alyssa headed into the bathroom to get ready for bed. “Was I friendly enough?”

He walked over to you, resting his arms around your shoulders, your hands wrapping around his torso. “Yes, you were fine,” you laughed. “She was better than I thought.”

“Me too,” he nodded. “Was prepared for fainting or something.”

Alyssa appeared in the doorway to the bathroom. “Don’t flatter yourself,” she spoke around the toothbrush in her mouth. “The novelty wears off quickly.”

Harry pulled back from you, narrowing his eyes at her. “Pretty sure you cleaned the entire apartment before I came over that one time.”

“Pretty sure you’re...an idiot,” Alyssa shot back, her laugh floating up towards the ceiling. 

Harry pulled you closer, your head against his chest, his chin resting on your hair. “I’ll take it,” he shrugged. 

He pressed his lips to the top of your head, sending a wave of heat down your spine. Alyssa rolled her eyes and left to spit into the sink, disappearing into her room while you and Harry moved over to the couch.

You thanked him for tolerating Carly, he promised it wasn’t too obnoxious. You put your feet on his lap like you had at his mum’s, but this time, he let a hand rest on your thigh. 

You didn’t know what it was. Maybe the dim glow in the living room, maybe the muted telly that now moved on to a late night sitcom rerun. Maybe it was how he helped gather the empty beer bottles, tossing half eaten pieces of crust into the bin.

But when he lingered in the middle of the room, halfway between the door and you, he tilted his head. 

Stay, you said. Your bed was big enough for two. 

**

Getting him out of your house in the morning was something you hadn’t thought through. Neither was the smirk on Alyssa’s face when he stumbled into the bathroom, half asleep, her eyes watching you over the rim of her coffee.

“Relax, nothing happened,” you settled onto a chair beside her at the table, privacy granted by the closed bathroom door. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you nodded again, reaching for a bite of the muffin on her plate. 

She swatted at your hand. “You expect me to believe that?”

You laughed, turning to look at her. With sleepy eyes and a hesitant tone, you cracked. “No penile penetration.”

Her eyes went wide, the possibilities now swimming in her head. You were saved by the creaking of the door, Harry emerged in the same t-shirt he wore the night before, boxers, socks up to his calves.

“Good morning,” Alyssa offered, a challenging smirk in his direction as he rubbed at his eyes. 

“Morning,” his voice was deep and hoarse. “Has the trial begun?” He shot a smirk back at her, poking fun at her curiosity. 

“You’re the next to testify,” you informed with a smile, heading over to the Keurig to place a mug beneath the spout. 

Alyssa laid off, though. She headed for the bathroom to shower and dress before dipping out the door to a spin class, claiming she had to be there early if she wanted a good bike. Harry lounged on the couch with a coffee in his hands, his eyes trailing you as you walked back and forth from the bathroom to your bedroom. 

Eventually, after you’d traded pyjamas for jeans, the anxiety lodged in your throat and you sat on the couch beside him. “Can we talk?”

He looked up from his phone, eyebrows dipping together when he adjusted on the cushions. “S’never good.”

“No, I just,” you took a breath, unsure of where to start or where to go. The clock above the telly clicked, a horn beeped from the street below. “There was a photo of us at the airport.”

He pushed his lips out, waiting for you to say more. 

“You can’t tell anyone you know me. You should unfollow me on instagram and twitter and--we just need to be careful. Carly showed me the picture and you can only sort of tell that it’s me, but if we keep hanging out--”

He cut you off, your rambling was too much for half past nine. “There will be more.”

“And there are more. If people start to suspect anything they’ll go digging and find photos that neither of us want anyone to see.”

He laughed at that, a small breath out through his nose, a smirk on his mouth. He sat up straight. “If you don’t want to do this, Smalls, then we don’t have to.”

His eyes trailed around the room, anywhere but you. 

“No, s’not what I’m saying.”

“Well, what? You don’t want to tell our friends, you don’t want to be seen out with me--”

“It’s not you, Harry, it’s--”

“My name?” He cut you off, his eyes sad but knowing. 

A shrug of your shoulders. You were quiet for a second, waiting to see if he would speak. When he didn’t, you stood from the couch. “I just want to focus on my career. I’m worried that this would get me fired.”

“I know,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. Another sigh, this time, less annoyed and more understanding. When he looked over at you, he offered a slight smile, the green of his eyes more vibrant on a cloudy day. “This is always the worst part.”

“What do you mean?”

“Of dating,” he clarified, his head tilted to the side and he looked towards the window. 

You felt your lip twitch into a smile, one that you tried to will away. Don’t get your hopes up, don’t be so naive. He didn’t think much of it, though, as he brushed right past it and kept talking.

“People are nosy and it’s a pain in the ass, but that doesn’t--I still want to hang out with you.”

You nodded, a mix of emotion in your gut as he stood from the couch. Excitement, nervousness, a web of thoughts that all seemed to lead right back to the same place: him. 

“Me too,” you said, standing quickly to face him in the room. “I just--I want my job as well.”

He nodded, opening his arms to invite you into his chest. Two steps forward before you felt his skin on yours, his hips against yours, his lips on yours. 

**

Alyssa knew you hated cooking. Which is why you were a great roommate, really. She would cook, you would clean. You also supplied the wine on nights like this: when she stood before the stove and you sat at the small table, watching her stir in different ingredients that you couldn’t even pronounce. 

She had inundated you with questions upon her return to the apartment--her hair up in a bun from her workout class, still sweaty after brunch with a coworker. She lifted her legs to let you vacuum beneath them, asking what it was like to have his hands roaming under your shirt. 

She was worse than Carly, in a way, less in love with him, but just as curious as enchanted, especially now that he wasn’t in the room. Alyssa was like that. She’d play it cool when he was around, but as soon as the door was shut and his car whizzed down the street, she’d poke and prod until she was blue in the face. 

She stuck a spoon into the pan, moving around the chicken that was now flooded with tomato  sauce. “I can’t believe you’re going to have sex with him,” she looked up at you, her eyes enthusiastic and eager. “This is like, unbelievable. I’m gonna have to tell my mom.”

“What?” You set your glass of wine down on the table. “Why? You do not have to tell her.”

“She loved What Makes You Beautiful,” she shrugged. 

“Yeah, well, that was like ten years ago practically.”

“She’ll be thrilled!”

“It’s not even guaranteed, okay? Who knows how long this will last.”

“Why do you say it like that?” She set the spoon down, moving over to the counter to retrieve her own glass. 

You let out a groan. “I just--it kind of feels too good to be true, you know? Why now? What made him text me that night and why does he suddenly give a shit about all of us again?”

Alyssa took a sip, she looked around the room and mulled over your question. “You’d have to ask him, if you want his answer. But don’t ruin the excitement for yourself, okay? He has feelings for you and you have feelings for him.”

“And his being famous really throws a wrench in that.”

“I know,” she sighed, setting her glass down before tending to the chicken once more. “Sounds like he was receptive today, though!”

“He was,” you shrugged. “He didn’t love it at first though. Which I get. His life is super public and me not being okay with that feels like a recipe for disaster.”

“You really think Whitney would be mad about it? I mean, I thought she was a cool boss,” she laughed. 

You spread your arms out on the table, letting your forehead fall down to rest on the wood. “She is but she also has to abide by the ethics and all of the stuff about truthfulness and integrity.” Another groan.

“So should you just be truthful with her?”

“No!” you pulled your head up quickly to look at her before burying your face again. “It’s too late now, she’ll ask why I didn’t tell her from the start, but I was just trying to have a life outside of him.”

“What do you mean?”

Another groan, you looked up, your gaze met hers and she reached for her wine, eyes wide as she waited for you to explain. “I’ve always been the girl who was friends with him,” you rolled your eyes. “My uni friends and classmates all wanted to hang out with me because they figured maybe he’d come round at some point.”

She laughed a little, her hand danced over the stove to sprinkle more oregano. 

“He didn’t, though,” you reminded, more annoyed now. “Too busy being famous and shit.”

“Okay, alright,” she tried to soothe you. 

“So forgive me for just wanting to be Y/N,” you said. “No connection to him. Just making my own first impression and being my own human.”

“I get it,” she shrugged. “The question is: do you think Whitney would get it?”

“Forget Whitney,” you threw your hands up in the air and let out another noise of defeat. “If she asks about the photo I’ll just say that I bumped into him like Carly said and whatever. I haven’t even seen any other photos,” you reached for your phone. 

You pulled up Twitter, immediately heading into your mentions to assess any further damage. Replies to your last tweet, likes, retweets. A few people asking when you’d be doing another Stupid Things list--a compilation of stupid trends or phrases or memes. Alyssa hummed over the stove.

You scrolled down on your feed, looking for something familiar to know you’d been caught up with the internet happenings, but then, your eyes trailed a familiar photo--one that had been leaked a long time ago.

You jumped as high as you could, as if space between you and the ground would make things less awkward. He’d shown up at your door, a knock as if it wasn’t out of place. 

“How long are you in town for?”

He bounced next to you, you wondered if you were both too heavy for it now, limbs much longer than they were even two years ago before he left.

“Just a week,” he said, his breath unsteady as his arms flailed by his sides. His feet hit the trampoline once more, only a second before yours, both of you tumbling down to the black surface in your parent’s garden. 

“Jesus,” he laughed, his legs tangled with yours, socks against the surface as you tried to brush the hair out of your face. 

What was he doing here? Touring the world with his band didn’t keep him busy enough this summer? Why did he show up at your house, not Jake’s or Jessie’s? Did they even know he was home?

“Sorry,” he said now, pushing himself up on his elbows, the word felt more weighted than a simple apology for knocking you over. 

You sighed, somehow heartbroken by the fact that after all this time, you still wanted to kiss him.

“Oh fuck me,” you said, Alyssa looked up from the stove and came to peer over your shoulder. “M’pretty sure my sister’s stupid friend Sophie took this picture.”

“When’s that from?”

“I don’t know, s’like 2012 or something.” You dropped your phone onto the wooden surface before you, as if holding it in your hand would make the photo harder to escape. 

Alyssa reached for it and held it up to her face. “That’s you?”

“Yes.”

“Can’t really tell.” She handed it back. 

“I know--no one knows it’s me, no one ever did except for my sister and that Sophie girl--and my friends, too, obviously.”

“So why is it popping up now?”

“Cause someone is doing exactly what I suspected!” Another gesture towards the sky in exasperation.

“Which is…”

“Connecting the dots and realizing that I know him! On twitter.”

“What did they say?”

You pulled the tweet up and showed it to her. 

“They didn’t even mention you.”

“No, but, the airport one mentioned me and I’m thinking it’s not a far jump if people start to zoom in.”

“Okay, you’re getting paranoid,” Alyssa laughed, walking over to the wine to offer you a refill. 

“Am I? People aren���t that stupid, Lyss. And if they see that he follows me or old photos of Bryn’s or something they’ll know.”

“You can still be a successful journalist and know Harry Styles.”

You sighed, wishing you could tattoo her words on the inside of your eyelids. “Only if I keep them very separate.”

“So keep them separate! S’not like you have to write about music much, right?”

“Yeah,” you sighed. “You’re right. I’ll pretend I don’t know him when I’m at work and when I’m at home I’ll snog him until morning.”

Alyssa laughed, turning the burner down and offering a smile. “Sounds fun to me.”

**

When closing time came on Monday, the main thing on your mind was how crowded the subway would be and whether or not you could talk Alyssa into making chilli for dinner. You’d written five different lists and managed to avoid a conversation about Liam Payne in the kitchen. So when you checked your email for the last time before heading out, you were not, for any reason, expecting to be called into Whitney’s office at 4:58pm.

At first you thought the worst. She’d seen the photos, you’d be fired. Someone had sent them to her and demanded to know why an employee was getting cozy with a celebrity--what type of work ethic was that? You’d have to move home. Ask your parents for money. Anxieties ticked through your brain as you counted the thirty-five steps to her corner office. 

Coats and scarves disguised your coworkers--some of whom offered smiles as you completed what you were sure was the walk of shame.

The sun had gone down outside, blinking lights from other offices greeted you through the windows when you knocked twice. “Hi, you wanted to see me?”

She looked up from her computer, a smile taking over her face when her eyes met yours. “Hi,  yeah, come in,” she said, shutting her computer quickly and pushing back from her desk. “Sorry to catch you so last minute.”

“S’okay,” you replied, taking a seat in the Sahara coloured leather chair opposite her. You clasped your hands on your lap, her smile was too wide to be upset with you, you were sure of it. “Everything alright?”

“Great, yeah, actually I have good news.”

“Oh? Yeah, what is it?” You wiggled in your chair,  an immediate wave of relief washing up when you realized you weren’t getting canned. If you were lucky, Alyssa would be in the mood for chilli and there’d be a new documentary to watch on Netflix. 

“We got an amazing offer for someone to do an interview. A long form. Photoshoot. The like. I know you’ve been itching to do something more serious,” she smiled coyly. “So I was hoping you’d do it.”

“Oh god, wow, who is it?!”

“Harry Styles!” She let out a squeal, clapping her hands together as she leaned back in her chair once more. “How amazing, right? He can be so picky about press but I guess his team was looking for something not as mainstream, y’know, not GQ.”

Quiet for a second, you had to keep your eyes from going wide, your face from losing all colour. You imagined, if you could see yourself in this moment, you looked like a shell of yourself.

“You want me to interview him?”

She nodded, her lips pressed together in a firm line, obviously awaiting a burst of excitement to come from your lungs.

You shook your head unconsciously, “what about Carly? She loves him!”

Whitney sighed, her red fingernails tapped on her desk. “I know--she was my first thought obviously cause she’s covered him for so long, but, to be honest, I’m just kind of worried that she wouldn’t be able to be professional about it.”

You bit your tongue, a sudden rise of guilt in your chest. Two options, either led to disaster. 

Interview Harry, solidify your career as a journalist and get to list yourself as one of the few people who’ve interviewed someone of his caliber. Run the risk of outing yourself as someone who actually knows someone of his caliber and all the while engaging in something extremely unethical. 

Or, pass on the interview to preserve your morals and lose a chance to further your career, likely for a relationship that would fizzle out like your friendship previously had. You weren’t stupid. You couldn’t possibly believe that this would last or be long term.

“Why can’t Gabrielle do it?”

“Too busy--she’s got two big pieces this month that she’s tied up with. She’ll be out of town one of the days he’s available, too.”

You bit your lip, toying with the idea of just coming out with all of it now. 

“I really took into consideration what you said before the holidays--I want to give you this story.” She smiled at you, a fondness in her eyes that felt both flattering and overwhelming all at once. “Besides, you’ve always been so nonchalant about celebrities, I think it’d be a good take on someone like him.”

Silence. Cleaning staff shuffled outside her door, picking up waste bins and vacuuming the office carpet. You let your eyes wander the room. A framed picture of her nieces sat beside her computer. 

“Are you not interested?”

“I am,” you looked up at her quickly, hunting for the right words. “Just nervous, I guess.”

Not false.

“So you’ll do it?” she leaned forward on her desk, a second wave of guilt crashed over you.  

Whitney, like the good boss she was, wanted you to grow as a journalist. She wanted you to be fulfilled by your work and she valued and appreciated your feedback. And now she offered you what would have been an amazing opportunity, had the interview subject not been someone you got drunk with only a few weeks ago.

A nod of your head. Words out of your mouth from a voice that didn’t sound familiar. “Yeah,” you whispered. “I’ll do it.”

**

The air was cold when you climbed out of your Uber. Your computer was clutched beneath your arm and you were only slightly offended that the doorman of Harry’s building ignored your frantic pounding on the glass door to the lobby.

If you hadn’t known Harry for over a decade, you’d be more hesitant about showing up at his flat unannounced for the second time in two weeks. You’d tried to warn him, but the four text messages you’d sent were left unread. He finally answered the third phone and called down to the doorman to let you in, but you’d rehearsed your opening line the entire ride up.

“Okay, we have a big issue.”

“What’s wrong?” he came around the corner of the sofa, pulling a jumper over his head when you crossed your arms. You hadn’t the slightest clue what he’d been doing all day or why he hadn’t answered your messages, but you didn’t have time to greet him before launching into the problem at hand.

“Whitney wants me to interview you,” you said, unzipping your coat, your eyes locked on his as you waited for a reaction.

“What?” his eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”

You let your hands slap your sides, frustration boiling over. “She said your team agreed to do an interview with The Scoop and she wants me to do it.”

“Shit,” he said, his eyes drifting left. 

“What do you mean shit?” Panic seemed to rise in your core.

“Well,” he spoke quickly, “Phoebe mentioned doing an interview the other day with a local website but I didn’t think it was yours.” He started to pace in the living room, hands in the front pocket of his jumper as he shook his head.

“Great,” you said, anger rising in your voice. “This is great.”

“Do you want me to cancel it? I’ll just cancel it.”

“No! You can’t cancel it. This is huge for my career.”

The words felt contradictory. You’d previously been hellbent on privacy, fearful any tie to Harry could ruin your status of employment. And while it might, now a part of you felt eager to cover him, boost your reputation as a good writer. 

“Well you don’t sound too excited,” he rolled his eyes, stopping on top of the white carpet that laid above the polished wood floors. His feet were socked--dark circles under his eyes when he rubbed at his chin.

“Well I’m not!” 

He paced again. 

“I have to interview you because I told Whitney before Christmas that I wanted more long form work--you know, real news!”

“Well then what do you suppose you tell her?”

You let out a huff of air. “I don’t know.”

He was quiet for a moment, the hum of the telly in the other room seemed to drift down the hall from his bedroom. 

“Can you do it and just not tell her we’re...friends?”

The word hurt more than you cared to admit, so you shrugged. “Dunno. I guess.”

More quiet. He let out a sigh before moving to sit on the couch. “If you think about it,” he looked up at you, his elbows resting on his knees, “that might explain the photos, right? Once you put the story out, people will assume that the airport photo was because of the story.”

“What about the concert one?”

“Can’t tell it’s you.”

You thought on it for a second. Whitney must not have seen it. She seemed to be busy enough with the upcoming award season and the start of a new podcast that she must have just missed the slight buzz of excitement. 

No one else at work aside from Carly cared enough about Harry to pay attention to his hold over the internet. Maybe it wasn’t a bad idea. 

“It would take a few weeks, the story, that is,” you thought aloud. “A few sessions of interviewing, a week of writing, a week of editing. There’d be a photoshoot somewhere in there.”

He nodded, urging you to continue. 

“So by the time the story is out if she sees any photos of us from the last month she won’t even know if they were recent. She’ll think it had something to do with that.”

Another nod. Hope in his eyes. 

You closed yours and let your head fall back, stomping a foot on the ground in frustration. “This is ridiculous. I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“Doing what?” He asked, his stare still on you when you opened your eyes again.

“Interviewing someone I’m...seeing.”

He cracked a smile at that, standing from the couch to come over to where you stood. “Oh come on, you used to ask me a ton of annoying questions when we were kids. It’ll be like old times.”

“Yeah, minus your tongue down my throat.”

“We can still do that when you interview me?” he wiggled his eyebrows and laughed, pulling you into his chest.

“If you behave,” you said. “Let me ask all sorts of questions and give me good answers. None of your vague and general bullshit.”

He let out a howl of a laugh at that, dropping his arms from around you altogether as he walked towards the kitchen. “Maybe I’ll only give you that. The worst interview I’ve ever given.”

“You’re neglecting to remember that I could write an entire story about the time you slipped down the stairs in Year 7 or when your trousers ripped at that dance when we were fourteen.”

He looked at you over his shoulder, his eyes pointed and playful. “You wouldn’t dare.”

A shrug. A smirk on your lips that could only be removed by his mouth on yours. “Maybe I would,” you threatened.

read the other parts here

AN: ohhhh shit. lmk what ya think! 

tag list:  @clorenafila​ @ainsleesolareclipse @castawaycths @harryspirate @wanderlustiing @ursamajor603 @thurhomish @omgsharry  @stepping-into-the-light @rachkon​ @jdcharliewhiskey @sad-little-asshole  @shawnsblue​  @gendryia​ @g0bl1nqueen​  @laula843​  @flooome​  a-woman-without-a-plan @awomanindeniall​  @shaw-nm​ @staceystoleyourheart @ohprettylittlemind​ @anssu-amry​ @my-fandomful-life​ @stylesfantasy​ @bookingbee​  @mleestiles​  @haute-romance-quotidienne​  @craic-head-horan​ @talk-british-2-me-britbritharry​ @at-least-im-1​ @paigemck00​ @rawmeharry​ @pinkpolaroidgirl​ blackxxmagicc

[sneakerdoodle]

On Second Citadel and unity

It was interesting to me that, after making Junoverse a very poignant gender utopia (and general lgbt-utopia, too), Kabert went ahead and made their second storyline so heavily centered around bigotry and discrimination (dealing with topics of ableism, mysogyny, homophobia). now, obviosuly, Junoverse is not even remotely free of inequality, and as far as the mentioned topics are handled this utopia is not disability-friendly, with prosthetics not being readily available with no charge, which, like many other things, strips people of their autonomy, turns them into a rich man’s plaything. But here inequality is arguably explored from the point of exploitation of one human being by another, of abuse of power (interpersonal and social-scale). Whereas Second Citadel opens with an episode about two knights - a disabled one and a woman one - both of whom struggled for similar reasons, so there is supposedly little power imbalance here. And yet they do not see eye to eye, even more so, one of them furthers the other’s discrimination. We can speculate that that’s Sir Caroline’s effort to fit in - strengthen the sense of her hard-earned belonging by othering someone who never got that right to belong. Which doesn’t make it any less infuriating and damaging, but sets the tone of the story very well. There is no strong thriving off the weak. There are just people infinitely rejecting one another on the basis of their differences, often under the weight of their own rejection.

The topic of ostracization and discrimination is tackled in almost every arc of SC, but the idea of othering extends beyond it. The central conflict, the ongoing war is between monsters and humans - and while we’re more familiar with the human side of it, while we may learn more about the history of their conflict and who wronged whom first and worst, for now we’ve seen both humans and monsters express deep disgust for each other and one another’s way of living. And then the same happens on a smaller scale, within one species: we see the mutual disdain between Northerners and Southerners. Sir Caroline is different not only as a woman but as a foreigner; the Cinderclasp episode made it far too clear that the attitude to foreigners in the South is no better. 

And all of that unravels against the backdrop of pretty phrases about unity that get repeated over and over. “Strength in Unity”. “Two in unity, simple, strong”. I believe those are not instruments of irony, however, but keys to the central message, echoes of this societies’ past and - hopefully - foreshadowing of their future.

Sir Caroline twists the meaning of that unity in order to keep her authority:

ANGELO: Sir Caroline, I really don't think-- CAROLINE: What is the primary edict of our Citadel, Sir Angelo? ANGELO: Strength in unity. Of course. CAROLINE: And the sooner you all remember that, the safer humanity will be in these Northern Wilds. Hypocrites. The lot of you. Unified only when it’s convenient. No better than monsters in that way: greed governs all, and everyone just does what they want to get what they want. If you just listened to authority, real authority, you might actually be safe.

And that happens to highlight what unity is not: giving up one’s autonomy and approach and unique competence to fit into someone else’s model of desired reality. 

Here Damien’s words about perspectives come into play. However labored and uncomfortable they were, showing his inability to not fixate on what separates others from him, they are important as a piece of the meta puzzle: they make us think of inherent value of different experiences.

DAMIEN: My kind, kind friend. I agree that it is a shame that we cannot trust these men. They would be valuable allies, as Sir Caroline was – for moving through the world as she has, in a life quite different from ours, has clearly gifted her with ways of thinking that you and I would never come to. ANGELO: Very true, very true. DAMIEN: And so I am certain that given Marc’s...situation, he too must have a perspective of great value in our mission. But the simple fact is that he cannot be trusted.

The importance of these lines is backed up in Lady of the Lake, when Caroline is instructed to use specific characteristics of her subordinates and turn them into strength that would aid the mission. We are told over and over that true unity is in embracing our differences, valuing them and working together to make these differences work in everyone’s favour. 

There is something to be said about quite careless exploitation of Damien’s neurodivergency of course, but that is once again the warped verison of true unity, showing what unity is not, but also simultaneously giving us some idea of its potential. At the core, behind Sir Caroline’s personal errors, the message is kinder, broader. We are told again and again that the importance of the unqiue approach, unique way of thought, unique operation of our minds can enrich our shared experience and cooperation beyond measure.

So when later on Sir Caroline instead tries to suffocate any challenge to her authority, any alternative point of view, it comes as the biggest whiplash.

And of course, when discussing the monster-human antagonism in this vein, the Moonlit Hermit arc gives some truly invaluable material. Rilla and Arum’s interactions are strongly based on the differences of their approach to the world, with Rilla’s being a rational one and Arum operating on what can be called intuition, spiritual sense and probably instinct. He despises attempts to rationalize the free broad flow of the universal energy.

And what we see is two of them coming together, sharing their views of the world and finding something useful, fascinating, beautiful in the point of view that seemed so unthinkable before. That culminates in the truly breathtaking scene of their discussion of the nature of music, whether it’s magic or math:

RILLA: I mean..why can’t it be both? ARUM: Nonsense. RILLA: No, I mean...maybe that’s what makes music special. It uses these predictable scales and measures and combines them with some unpredictable, something-- ARUM: Magic. And what comes out isn’t really either. It’s...more.

“It’s more”. Can’t overstate how hard this hits. And the parallel between this theory and Rilla and Arum’s relationship is more than on the nose, proving to us once again that the idea of unifying our different experiences and perspectives as something incredibly valuable, something that creates something new, rich, priceless, that is more than just a sum of the two, is central to the narrative.

What is interesting to me in the Moonlit Hermit arc is the distinction that is made between the monsters and the humans. Humans are supposedly rational while monsters speak of magic and the Universe - what a fun narrative is that! Monstrous spirituality... And then later on we have Damien raging at his saint, yelling “It is only monsters who listen to their heart above all!” - but apparently it is not. 

The new season offered some helpful context to that, specifically - the Thought Stream. Obviously referencing the Tarot, it has four suites resembling the Minor Arcana while what can be called the Major Arcana is not a part of the deck usually but something that appears unpredictably (specifically: Olala’s card that does not belong to the Wilds, Wastes, Frosts or Mirrors suit). 

The four Tarot suits (Swords, Cups, Wands and Pentacles) represent different areas of our life, separated: Intellect, Emotion, Spirituality/Creativity and the Material. Mind, Heart, Spirit and Body.

The four suits also correspond with the four elements. And Water is the one corresponding with Heart, with our emotions. I do not think it to be a coincidence that Saint Damien - the one encouraging his follower to listen to his heart, teaching him tranquility i.e. not losing oneself in the stream of emotion, the one teaching how to let one’s heart guide not stir - has water and the waves as his symbol.

So if Damien is Heart, Rilla is definitely Mind: she is analytical, a determined problem solver. I believe Arum represents the Wands: the Spirit and the fire - and that it is a symbol connected to monsters’ society in general. 

Wands suit deals with passionate creation, with realizing one’s vision, bringing something into the world. That seems in line with the monstrous philosophy in general. They talk of one’s place decided by the Universe, they say one is justified in their actions as long as they truly do what they want, follow where their passion guides them. There is quite a bit of hypocrisy there as we can see in the Spiral Sage arc, the monster society may just be keeping the platitudes while giving in to the power of the strongest no matter the Universe’s place for the weak - but the ideal is still there, and it is one Arum seems to follow wholeheartedly. (Hence his interpretation of Damien seemingly abandoning his path as a lack of character.)

The same idea - one’s place in the Universe - is brought up again in the first part of “The Fool in the Garden of Death”, showing this belief spreads beyond monsters’ society, into the Western Wastes. None of the elements, be it Heart or Spirit, are strictly one species’; however, we’re dealing with different cultures and ways of life people are most accustomed to, prioritizing different aspects of life. And we’re being shown that maybe engaging with each other is what those cultures are supposed to do.

The Thought Stream’s deck is made up of four suits corresponding with four ends of the world, four parts of it. Where in Tarot we have aspects in Thought Stream we have places. This reinforces the concept of different aspects of life, different ways of approaching it, corresponding with specific societies. 

Each of the suits is given an identity, but all of them make up one deck.

After all, what’s one aspect of a being without all the rest? Reign of just one’s Mind, Heart, Spirit or Body - how long can it last before turning destructive?

True strength is in balance of different elements - in unity that recognizes the value of each of them.

I have a theory that the ideals of the Second Citadel are the forgotten and revamped mottos of the beings of Fort Terminus: “two in unity” being not two partners but two worlds, monster and human, coming together to create something that is more, something new and powerful and full of potential. Capable of building something as impressive as the Bridge. I also have a theory that the Bridge is a parallel to the Tower of Babel. Which brings us to the idea of a divided world unable to see past the differences between societies, and through that losing the power that unity used to give it.

Showing the world where difference is shunned and leads to ostracism, where people that come from different places fail to acknowledge each other’s humanity and refuse to embrace their differences, where two species fail to accept the other’s way of living and deny the enemy their humanity/monstrosity, the Second Citadel storyline is offering a greater value as an endgoal: embracing difference and diversity, seeing strength in what sets us apart from each other, and recognizing that we all complete one another, like the four aspects of our own being, like four pillars upon which the sky rests. Deny one single pillar’s importance and wait for it to come crashing down on you. It says: to know true strength, we should welcome any and all experience, all of the unique perspectives, celebrate the differences that make our shared existence so much richer and make us so much more capable to deal with challenges of life. Strength in unity - not in uniformity.

[mikami]

Death Note Audio Drama 01

Disk 1: Pattern Recognition - a summary / partial translation

The Death Note audio drama is a German audiobook production that is officially licensed, but has been written and produced without any further involvement from the Japanese copyright holders. A Japanese release is, as such, not planned. An English release was announced in 2017 and has since never received any more news nor a release date announcement.

The audio drama starts of pretty benign as a retelling of the manga with some changed facts and dialogues.... and eventually full-on diverges from the plot and leads to a completely alternative ending. It’s pretty wild for officially licensed media. Wild enough to absolutely warrant being shared with the English-speaking fandom at large.

Since the whole drama is 12 hours in total in 12 disks (covering roughly one manga volume each), I won’t be able to provide a full translation and instead will summarize the less juicy bits while doing a full translation of anything funny or interesting. 

All future episodes will be found in this tag on my blog.

Without further ado, let’s begin.

We open to the sound of someone typing.

LIGHT: Something is rotten. Post-modern. Post-truth. Post-Justice. Day in day out, the same lies in endless repetition. Killers get away with murder. Drug dealers sell poison to children. The world is drowning in its own filth. The world is infected with corruption. I am the cure. I am the--

A knocking sound.

SACHIKO (muffled): Dinner is ready, dear!

LIGHT (groans, but then goes on): I am the surgeon who cuts out the cancer, I am the--

More knocking.

SACHIKO: It’s your favourite dish!

LIGHT: One second, mom! 

SACHIKO: Are you talking to your friends online again?

LIGHT: It’s fine, mom, I’m coming!

SACHIKO: Hurry up, it’s getting cold.

______

We cut to a scene of the task force entering the school in which Kuroh Otoharada has taken children hostage. The scene is fairly simple. Someone (I think Matsuda?) is pretty violently insistent on shooting Otoharada if necessary. They find Otoharada dead in the bathroom. 

______

Ryuk, who has a voice like a friendly fat little man narrating fairytales, tells us the rules of the Death Note. We cut to Light coming home and giving Sachiko his test results. They cut out the whole ‘number one in the nation’ and simply changed it to top grades in a nation-wide test exam. Probably because Germany doesn’t have ranking lists like that at all.

_______

A TV report about Otoharada is playing. A lady named Noriko Takai is trying to interview Matsuda about the incident. Matsuda refers her to the upcoming pref-conference, but admits that Otoharada died of a heart attack.

_______

Typing noises again.

LIGHT: To all those who are interested... If you are reading this text, something went wrong. If you are reading this, I might even be dead. In that case, dear me, dear Light Yagami. This is your younger self. In case you’ve forgotten everything, this story may be hard to believe, yet every word is true. Yeah... You found a notebook on the school grounds. Yeah... It claimed to have the power of bringing death to anyone you name in it. And yeah... you laughed about it. You were thinking of a prank. However... you couldn’t resist, am I right? You wrote the name of this guy from the school hostage taking and he died. But it could have been a coincidence. So you tried again. And what you saw, scared you. But in the same moment, you understood the power you had. So you ran home into your room and the confirmation was already waiting for you. With his claws, and glowing devil’s eyes.

________

Ryuk is indeed in Light’s bedroom. The meeting dialogue is largely very similar to the manga. However, this snippet happens....

LIGHT: I didn’t expect something so---

RYUK: Something so demonic? I’m hurt. I’m quite the catch for a denizen of the netherworld. I could be a sex god, if I wasn’t so good with death.

Ryuk elaborates that the notebook now belongs to Light, that nobody can see him, that he wasn’t chosen, that the shinigami world is boring... yadda yadda, we know this from the anime already. Light says his famous “if someone dies, does that make me a murderer?” line and Ryuk just says “of course it does.” Another funny Ryuk line: “You killed someone else too? Awww, you’re my man.”

________

In a flashback Light walks Shinjuku. Takuo Shibuimaru shows up and Light kills him, hurray. 

Back in the present:

RYUK: Fantastic. You killed this guy for flirting with a woman?

LIGHT: She wanted to be left alone.

RYUK: Alllright, social justice warrior. But isn’t that a little... strict?

Light launches into a speech about his ambitions. Ryuk keeps pointing out that he is afraid. Light gets annoyed at being condescended, since Ryuk is the one who gave him the weapon in the first place. However, he also admits to being scared. But still, someone needs to do it. But who else could do it, if not him? Etc, etc, etc. HE WILL MAKE A BETTER WORLD.

_______

A TV segment about the early Kira deaths. The chief prosecutor is under fire for treating prisoners badly, since people assume the prisoners died of bad food in prison. Other people deny that this is how it is, because they assume that bad food would have more than 3 victims. Someone else assumes it is the will of God. Some other guy is praising whoever does the killing in a flippant and humorous tone. The interviewer criticizes him for these views.

________

L: Come in, Watari, come in. 

WATARI: I thought you might already be in bed, Mr. L. It’s fairly late.

L: No sleep, no, not sleeping. Can’t sleep. 

WATARI: How much coffee did you...

L: There’s a killer on the loose, Watari!

WATARI: That is always the case, Mr. L.

L: No, this time it’s different. Different, you understand? I looked at the data, check it out. Heart attacks going through the roof.

WATARI: The deaths among criminals? Wasn’t that about the food?

L: No, it can’t be the food, when it’s taking place so hand-picked and world-wide. These people can’t all have been poisoned by the same dose. What do the deaths have in common...? The only connection really appears to be that all of them are criminals...

WATARI: You are a master in pattern recognition, L. You’re famous for it. 

L (laughs): Famous, yeah. We have to contact interpol. I looked at the data. Someone is killing criminals by the dozens. We need to talk to interpol.

WATARI: They had a conference announced for later today anyway. Well... tomorrow. In their time.

L: Time? Time zones, of course! 

WATARI: Mr. L...? 

L: Let’s look back at the data for a moment. 

_______

Ryuk is impressed by how many people Light killed. Light admits to getting nightmares due to it, but he also is determined about his mission. He explains his idea of heart attacks leading to recognition of the pattern. Ryuk is pretty flippant about Light’s plan, saying he is the only danger to mankind.

_______

Nature noises.

WATARI: Are we working in the park now, Mr. L?

L: I need to stay on the move. Change wifi hotspots.

WATARI: Isn’t that a little... paranoid?

L: In the face of a killer who can kill from a distance? No, it’s only appropriate. Completely appropriate. Watari... You need to create a filter. Something to distort my voice over the phone. 

WATARI: That’ll be done in no time, Mr. L.

L now explains his initial idea of how to catch the killer. He asks WHEN someone would use their power to kill and concludes that they’d do it after work before bed, in free time timeframes. L assumes someone would likely kill between 4pm and 2am, but which timezone? 78% of people die in that timeframe, in GMT-10. Thus L narrows it down to countries in that timezone for a start. And he also wants to factor in weekends, holidays, other free time events... for all those countries, to narrow it down with reference to the 32% of killings done at other times. 

_______

The interpol meeting is in session. The French representative argues that if the assumption is that this is black magic or something, then it isn’t under their jurisdiction. After all there are no laws about magic or cursing people. The US representative and meeting leader explains that there weren’t any laws about cyber crimes (or even a concept of cyber crimes) either before there were computers. Thus she argues in favor of investigating. 

________

RYUK: I mean, I love it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a god of death and you are basically my dedicated intern.

LIGHT: Can’t you just---

RYUK: I will just do what I feel like. You can’t write my name into my own book. I am practically the only living being on this planet that is pretty much safe from you. And that’s exactly why I’m asking: when is it over? I look at you, putting on airs full of significance, how you’re killing the killers, the rapists, the serial killers.... You declared yourself the highest arbiter. 

LIGHT: Someone has to do it. Someone has to tidy up!

RYUK: And what happens when you’re done with murderers? Tax evaders? Jaywalkers? Two hairdressers having a brawl at a bar? Where do you draw the line after which the world is cleansed? Let me tell you something. This world has always been a cesspit. 

LIGHT: I’ll know it when it happens.

RYUK: Or when someone stops you.

LIGHT: Oh come on, who’s supposed to find me?

______

Back at Interpol, they’re debating the need for an international task force. Soichiro suggests bringing in L. French representative is just like “oooh, you’re calling a mystery to solve a mystery?”. Who L is gets explained.

Watari comes in and explains that L is already on the case. L’s message is played. He wants cooperation from the police.

______

A TV report about further killings. A different channel, a religious speaker claims the final days have come. A different channel again, a stand-up comedian talks about the Kira case and jokes that if all killers gets killed nobody would be left to run the government. Says he’d love to do it, but he smoked weed as a college student, so he’s probably on the list too....

Yet another channel recalls that the most popular theory about the killing has religious qualities and that people online are talking of “Kira, the saviour”. 

Light turns off the audio on the TV and Ryuk complains.

RYUK: They assume Kira is male... How sexist.

Light is currently busy googling ‘Kira’. Light complains that people don’t manage to spell ‘Killer’ correctly, if that is what they mean to say. Ryuk is the one who brings up how ‘you Japanese’ swap L and R and thus explains the name.

Then the Lind L. Tailor broadcast happens and Ryuk tells Light to put the audio back on.  

______

The Task Force is discussing the broadcast. Matsuda thought L would be more self-assured and less... reading his text off flash cards. He then realizes the name sounds familiar to him and looks it up. 

______

Light talks to Ryuk about writing Tailor’s name and does so. He dies.

LIGHT: Oopsiedaisy, heart attack.

L’s voice picks right back up. Light is confused and angry. L explains the scheme. The taunt proceeds as in the manga.

_____

Matsuda is just like ‘I tried to tell you, boss. Tailor was on death row’.

______

There is actually noises of Light breaking things in his room as he gets mad about this. Ryuk tells him to calm down. L disconnects on TV.

RYUK: Mic drop. Rock ‘n’ Roll.

LIGHT: Shut up.

______

Matsuda and Soichiro have their conversation about L’s stunt and also Kira lowering crime rate while Soichiro is rushing to catch the train home.

______

SAYU: Oh no, not curry again....

SACHIKO: Sayu, you love curry, you---

SAYU: That was when I was 6, mom! It makes you fat.

SACHIKO: Don’t be silly, dearie.

LIGHT: Everything makes you fat, if you eat too much of it.

SACHIKO: Thanks, Light. At least one person in this family uses his brain. You get that from your dad.

As if on cue, Soichiro comes home. He is delighted about the curry. Talks about the Kira case. He also brings up the idea of Kira being a teenager. Light chokes on his curry quite lengthily at that. 

______

Ryuk expresses his surprise at Soichiro leading the investigation. Light comes up with his plan to change the time of death.

______

L calls Soichiro and Soichiro gives him the news that Kira now kills hourly. L declares people connected to the investigators to be suspects.

______

The US Interpol representative and Watari are meeting for coffee, though Watari does not get coffee because it messes with his heart-rate. Watari requests the FBI to supervise in Japan. Specifically the FBI because the CIA might include a mole. The FBI meanwhile is meant for inland and thus not yet related to the case and can function as external. The representative is pretty shocked and initially refuses, based on the rules for the FBI. 

______

Three detectives leave the case because they don’t want to risk their lives by fighting Kira. 

______

Watari informs L that the FBI has agreed to investigate. L has already looked into the suspect pool via social media. Related to investigators, 16-24, only in the Kanto region.... 

______

Ryuk informs Light of someone tailing him. It’s a lengthy dialogue but very canon-close and not super interesting.

LIGHT: If this is the police....

RYUK: You’ll put up your hands and surrender?

LIGHT: I’m going to have to kill them. All of them.

RYUK: Yeah, that’s what I thought.